THE CARAMEL CRUNCH #26

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WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH – WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Someone who cares about you, and knows you have had challenges, keeps on trying to offer you advice. Only it is not helpful. They use cliches and say things like “look on the bright side of life”…or “every cloud has a silver lining”…or worse! At first you tried to overlook what they were doing because you know they are well motivated, but they keep on doing it. It’s as if they have made you their mission.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

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What is THE CARAMEL CRUNCH? Well, it’s all about decisions. When it comes to THE CRUNCH what would you do?

One of the definitions of the word CRUNCH is:

a crucial point or situation

 – generally involving a decision with weighty consequences

  • Your response can be a quickie. Please feel free to send a comment to say what you would do, and if you have time or are inclined, please feel free to explain your decision.
  • If you would like to create a post with a longer explanation of your decision, please pingback to THE CARAMEL CRUNCH post. (Or copy and paste a link to your post in the comments section – please feel free.)

If you know anything about CRUSHED CARAMEL, you will probably realize I am a gentle soul, so my questions are not supposed to be terrifying! What I am hoping for really is to see a variety of responses. Afterall, it’s pretty obvious that WordPress bloggers are from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. It would be fascinating to learn more about how we as individuals make decisions.

Some of the questions I am going to ask are questions I have discussed with friends when we have been having coffee or dinner. I often find there is no clear right or wrong. It can be so much a matter of our individual experiences and outlook. I find it fascinating how very different some of us are when it comes to decision making.

We all have different outlooks, and may make different decisions. I am really looking forward to learning WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

One Way Street, Decisions, Opportunity

 

 

12 thoughts on “THE CARAMEL CRUNCH #26”

    1. lol! It can be insufferable.
      I have a workmate who likes that I am happy and energetic…so when she saw me struggling in June, she seemed to be on a mission to cure me. In the end I told her that what she was saying was not balanced. I was quite serious, I said that I don’t have to be jumping for joy all the time to be alright. It is fine to have sad moments or longer periods of grief. I for one need to allow myself time to mourn at times and just to say, “today is not a good day”.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I think given what you’ve said I’d speak to them about it. Maybe tell them that you know their intentions are good but tell them how their advice makes you feel? I appreciate that this could be a hypothetical situation but if it was happening to you I know you’d be able to tell the person in a gentle way that their comments weren’t helping.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had someone recently who seemed to think I needed to be singing and dancing all day long. I guess during the coronavirus stress at work, I have been trying to keep morale up, so when I was struggling in June, my workmate seemed to want me to say everything is wonderful. I did have a chat with her in the end and I told her I think it is balanced and healthy to say there is a time to laugh/skip/play…and there is a time to weep/mourn. I needed to be quiet and have a few tears. It’s the best way to let the pent up pain ease off.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 1) You could be honest with them about how you feel. They could listen and try to understand, or they could be hurt and go on the defensive, or respond in any of a number of different ways. It’s worth taking a chance on, I think. Once you’ve told them, if they go back into “helper mode” you could hold up your “talk to the hand” hand to stop them before they go on. Enough hand gestures and they hopefully will get the message.
    2) Choose avoidant behavior and stop associating with them. Not the healthy choice, but it would end.

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    1. It’s funny…for many years I listened to the woes and challenges of friends I cared about. I knew instinctively that the best thing I could do was to listen, allow my friend to pour their heart out, and show I cared. But sometimes when I have needed to talk about some of the challenges I have been through, my friends have responded with “everything is great”, “silver linings”, “everything happens for a reason” cliches.

      I have ended up making a mental note of who not to talk to about anything painful, because sometimes their reaction is more painful!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is something I am guilty of doing to my kids and friends. I know I shouldn’t but my inner optimist rears up occasionally and I blurt our phrases like these! I should follow the advice in the comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I honestly think that balance is important.
      There is a famous proverb: “A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to wail and a time to dance”…meaning there are times when it is more appropriate to shed some tears and express your sadness. But we don’t want to be like that all of the time.

      We can be very joyful loving people, but also able to adjust when it is appropriate.
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It drives me bananas because I feel I’m not being heard and instead of taking time to care about me, the “friend” is more interested in keeping up an image. I usually will withdraw from interaction and not confide much to the person.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You hit the nail on the head!
      I was horrified when a few of my close friends who learnt what happened to me the night I was attacked decided to give me the “everything happens for a reason” line…I did not think much of the silver linings speeches!

      After hearing those insensitive and inappropriate cliches I made a mental note not to talk about anything painful with them again!

      But I have other friends (and family) who are awesome, and they know not to say silly things!

      Liked by 1 person

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