Outside Of My Bedroom Window

Around a year ago, my landlord’s replaced the miniature boxwood hedge (because it was struggling after some kind of disease had eaten into it) with ickle baby lavender plants. Well this year, the lavender is looking lovely.

Best of all, the breeze wafts in the scent of lavender into my bedroom and is sooooo lush!

I have a very sweet little abode…and a lavender scented bedroom is one of the loveliest parts of it.

Good night from me. Sweet dreams….xx

But It Was Always You

I don’t think you can ever comprehend what it was like to try to get on with my life without you, to pretend. I was going through the motions. Smiling because they told me to smile. Laughing to hide the tears. I did just as they advised. I went on dates and it was truly awful.

There was one who sent me long romantic emails but was unwilling to ever meet me. I suspect he was married even though he told me he was not.

There was the one who tried to impress me with his athletic prowess and physique. He boasted of his strength and stamina all the time. I could hardly contain my laughter at his own self obsession.

Then there was the one who kept cracking terrible jokes. He had a bizarre sense of humour and laughed at what was absurd. I didn’t laugh with him. It was insidious.

Then the one who was a dedicated follower of fashion. Designer shades, wearing sportswear endorsed by basketball players and flashy trainers. What a complete wally!

The one who did everything green. He lived on a raw vegan diet. He bicycled, recycled, freecycled and had a negative carbon footprint. He spent hours cycling to work each way so that he didn’t have to use any transport that ran off fossil fuels. One night he was hit by a double decker bus. Sadly he will never cycle again.

Then there was the one who took me out with his pals. He let them lear at me while he placed bets at the pool table. He would snap his fingers and expect me to jump, fetch a beer for him or lend him another twenty dollars.

***

But what you may not realize is that there was only ever you. In all those men, all I was looking for was you. But I couldn’t have you, because you had stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to get on with my life. I tried to smile when I only wanted to cry. I tried to pretend. I went on dates with all those men and it was awful.

But you called me. You called me out of the blue. You gave me the chance to stop pretending for everyone else’s sake. You gave me the chance to admit that I never ever stopped looking for you, never stopped loving you. Thank you for picking up the phone and ringing me.

The Lantern

My heart was beating as I listened to my grandmother tell me about how for years she was secretly courted by a wealthy young man, despite his family being dead against their relationship.

During all those years that he and I snook away for romantic rendezvous…

We ne’er showed

Our secret code

At his abode

…to any other soul. It was a mysterious unspoken language between he and I. All those years when we were kept apart by the most miserable of circumstances, his rich aunt who detested that my father was a mere tradesman. She announced our union would be a disgrace to the noble bloodline from which she descended, and forbade him to see me.

However, with his encouragement Auntie would go away for the occasional trip to Lyme or the New Forest on one of her little vacations. My beloved would always hasten to give me that sign, so that I knew that apart from the servants, he would be alone at home and could receive me…

I’d see that light

That meant we might

Make love that night

…and I would rush down to the manor house, squeeze through the gap he had created in the perimeter walls and make my way through the pristine gardens. I had to climb the trellis erected for the wisteria, to reach his balcony. He would be there waiting to lift me over the stone balustrade.

It was terribly exciting, terribly romantic. He would kiss each one of the scratches I had incurred in my climb up over the gnarled twigs that scraped against my soft skin. He would hold me in his arms, whispering to me that it was agony not being allowed to see me.

Eventually your Grandfather spurned his rich aunt’s wishes in choosing to elope so he could marry me. In outrage, his aunt cut him out of her will. Your grandfather gave up his inheritance for me.

After his crabby aunt had passed away, he went to visit his second cousin who had received the inheritance and made just one request. Your grandfather asked for the lantern that hung in the porch on the south side of the house. His request was granted, and we fixed it up in the vestibule here at the cottage we raised our children in.

The lantern that for eight years proclaimed the message I was longing for:

“The coast is clear

You need not fear

Come in my dear”

 

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This was my response to FANDANGO’S FLASH FICTION Challenge:

https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/22/fandangos-flash-fiction-challenge-71/