I Need A Hug

Paula Light, the creator of Light Motifs II hosts the MONDAY PEEVE (I know it is Thursday today) and invites us all to join along as you can see from this week’s post below:

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2020/05/18/the-monday-peeve-36/

Well, it’s double trouble from me this week. last night, I published the first part of my peeve. This is to explain what else has been eating at me.

Ok…I will tell you. I am working at least six days a week. On top of that, I have been enrolled on a course because I have started to do work I am not technically qualified for. Some of my colleagues are on furlough. They made the right decision for them. I am working extra hours, as my other colleagues at work are. But we are tired.

We are working hard. It’s not just the physical work and the long hours that are tiring. We are hearing all the stress and anxiety from our patients and their families. I am sending money to family who have lost work during recent weeks. I am very happy to do that. I am doing my bit to support and encourage everyone I know. I am helping my landlords with grocery shopping (have been doing so for weeks), gardening and lots of other domestic tasks. In addition I have my own housework and laundry to keep up with. I have also managed to finish my Annabelle Riley series and seen the third and final part published (yay!!!)

But with all this…the truth is, I am tired. My longed for holiday to Australia is not going to happen. My boyfriend is in Africa having the time of his life. I have not had a hug from anyone in over three months 😦

There was a mistake at work. It didn’t involve a life or injury to anybody. It’s a case of money down the drain. It involved stock and the loss of money. There was no dishonesty involved. In truth the responsibility for the mistake is split. It happened on a day I was not at work. But the next day it was brought to my attention. I did not understand that at that point I could have done something about it. I had so much other work thrown at me, so I didn’t think to worry myself about something that happened on a day I was cleaning and ironing.

I am annoyed at myself that after all the weeks of hard work and going the extra mile day after day, I came home completely deflated. I was sobbing because I didn’t understand that I could have prevented the loss of all that money. If I had understood what to do, I could have done something about it. Now we all look like idiots. But we are so busy. So we have bled a lot of money. The main cause was computers. Computers automatically creating invoices based in inaccurate stock levels.

But the point is, I am annoyed because after all the good good good things I have done with care and a smile on my face and a heart of love…all I felt was deflation on discovering that we just bled a small fortune. I wanted to cry. I did cry. Why is it, that even when you have done so much to help others with the best of motives, something falls through the net and when you realize all you can think about is the mistake, the missed opportunity.

I don’t like it, but my teenage sweetheart’s father always used to say:

YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST MISTAKE

…in other words, that is all our mind can think about sometimes. My heart is so heavy and I feel so deflated, that despite all the hard work and wonderful cooperative spirit at work, we bled all that money…partly because we are all so busy and so tired and because technology is not reliable.

I need a hug!