I was thinking about love the other day. I think about love and it’s many flavours and expression a considerable amount of the time.
Last week in the CARAMEL CRUNCH, I asked a question that touched on how having very different beliefs can affect two people who are romantically in love and want to spend their lives together. I was absolutely fascinated by the replies to this question.
A lot of other bloggers expressed wisdom – one way or the other. I was thinking afterwards about the decisions I have made. I would not claim they were the right decisions necessarily, but I was thinking about why I chose to love someone with whom I could not share some of the most cherished parts of me.
Many years ago, someone asked me – if you are going to buy some chocolates for someone you love, do you buy their favourite chocolates, or do you buy the ones that you like to eat?
I love dark chocolate, love it! But I have realized that I seem to be the only one amongst my colleagues who likes dark chocolate, so if I buy chocolates as a thank you to my work mates, what kind of chocolates do you think I should buy?
Then they asked me – if you were going to cook a special meal for a loved one, would you cook their favourite dish, or would you prepare a meal with the ingredients you enjoy?
I am vegetarian. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was six years old. I have never once had the desire to eat meat. But for people I love, I have many many times cooked meat.
I am not saying my decisions were necessarily the right ones when it came to sacrificing my preferences for the sake of the man I love, but I will say this – self-sacrificing love has brought me a deeper joy than easy love where you love someone because they are exactly what you are looking for.
I think there is a line…if the man who I loved asked me to commit a crime or harm someone – well that would be a NO!!! But in other matters it is up to you to decide the sacrifices, compromises and gifts you are prepared to give up, give in or just give…because of love. You will be happy or unhappy with your decision. In some ways…a decision is proved right by the happiness it results in.