You are in love and the person you have been courting for some time wants to marry you. Although you are very close, there is one main difference in your outlook. One of you believes in a Creator and wants to practice a particular faith. The other does not believe in a Creator and despises all religion. When the two of you talk about beliefs, emotions run high and generally the conversations have to be cut short because it can become hurtful. You realize this may cause challenges, despite the love you share.



What is THE CARAMEL CRUNCH? Well, it’s all about decisions. When it comes to THE CRUNCH what would you do?

One of the definitions of the word CRUNCH is:

a crucial point or situation

 – generally involving a decision with weighty consequences

  • Your response can be a quickie. Please feel free to send a comment to say what you would do, and if you have time or are inclined, please feel free to explain your decision.
  • If you would like to create a post with a longer explanation of your decision, please pingback to THE CARAMEL CRUNCH post. (Or copy and paste a link to your post in the comments section – please feel free.)

If you know anything about CRUSHED CARAMEL, you will probably realize I am a gentle soul, so my questions are not supposed to be terrifying! What I am hoping for really is to see a variety of responses. Afterall, it’s pretty obvious that WordPress bloggers are from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. It would be fascinating to learn more about how we as individuals make decisions.

Some of the questions I am going to ask are questions I have discussed with friends when we have been having coffee or dinner. I often find there is no clear right or wrong. It can be so much a matter of our individual experiences and outlook. I find it fascinating how very different some of us are when it comes to decision making.

We all have different outlooks, and may make different decisions. I am really looking forward to learning WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

One Way Street, Decisions, Opportunity



27 thoughts on “THE CARAMEL CRUNCH #15”

    1. I think you are right.
      I love Goldfinch so so so much. But I did realize he and i had some different ideas on this subject. It made me wonder whether there may have been contention if our little apricot had lived. I wonder if we may have wanted to teach a child differently.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Indeed.
          I remember one day we were having a chat about something.
          He did not like my view on a subject and became kind of grumble. I jumped up and threw my arms around him and said I would rather be wrong a million times over, but I did not want to lose him.
          But at the same time…I could hardly profess to believe something I was convinced was untrue…and vice versa perhaps.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. I think that it’s not the differences in themselves that necessarily pose a problem but the fact that even pre-marriage conversations about the subject have to be cut short because they can become hurtful. If the two people can respect the other’s position and not feel the need to change their mind on it then it could possibly work especially as they are honest about the differences from the outset. If they feel so strongly that they need the other person to feel the same way as them on the subject then sadly it’s probably not going to work. It will cause too much pain and resentment in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t see how this could work. I really don’t. I mean, a person doesn’t simply “just” believe in a Creator and that’s it. She believes in a whole bunch of additional things that follow from this belief. For example, from reading your posts, I know you believe (as do zillions of people) in an afterlife. Well, if you loved someone with all your heart, how could you not want them to share in the beauty of this afterlife? How could you stop yourself from trying to help them do what (you feel) is necessary to achieve admission to that realm? Conversely, all atheists are going to think this is absurd. Some may believe it’s harmless and cute for you to have your belief and will smile and shrug you off when you speak of it; others will become angry. But the idea that you could be soul mates and live together happily? No. I say it is not possible. It would lead only to arguments and frustration for both.


    1. For me personally, i believe that someone who has died is dead. I don’t believe a part of them goes to another realm, a spirit realm. I believe they are unconscious, unaware of the living. But I do believe our Creator remembers every detail about them and in the future when his government has replaced corrupt rulerships, he intends to restore life to many billions.
      Once the earth is as he originally purposed, thriving and beautiful with humans and animals living in harmony…well…then he may allow humans more responsibility outside of Planet Earth. But we need to be able to look after this beautiful planet properly before we are going to be able to look after another planet properly. That last part is speculation. the scriptures don’t say what our Creator will do once the earth is full and is a paradise. That will be something we have to wait to find out.

      He and I were on the same page about some things. We both feel incensed by religious crimes and the wealth of churches. I don’t even like to visit churches for that reason. He loves art and architecture. So he liked to visit them. We went to a cathedral in Bath. I noticed a scripture carved there from Matthew 5, which says the meek will inherit the earth. He said that the earth is going to be destroyed and that Christians look forward to going to heaven. He does not even believe that. But he insisted that is that Christians believe. I said that is not what the Bible teaches. I said only a small number of humans will be assigned a role in government. But the majority will live on the planet we were designed to live on.
      He seemed to think I was a fruitcake.
      We ended the conversation, it was not an argument, but it was clear that we were not on the same page at all.

      He is such a lovely man. He has a strong sense of injustice. He loves creation and life. He said at one stage he wished he could find it easier to believe in a Creator but he hates what religion has done.

      Sigh, we agree on some things. But if our apricot had lived, I think it would have been had to know what to teach.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Relationships are so tough (imo), even when you agree on these big, basic ideas. Idk how you’d get past the issue of someone not respecting your core beliefs…


        1. I think what you said in your other comment is very true though.
          In my heart, all I want is for Goldfinch to live forever. I also am terrified at the thought of him becoming inflamed by propaganda and getting involved with violence. I am scared for everyone I care about being influenced like that. But with Goldfinch being on the opposite side of the planet, I worry more.
          I even wrote a kind of poem about it.
          I want him to be safe.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. What would I do? I’d turn around, walk away, and never look back. This is such a fundamental matter and one that essentially defines who we are. It can’t work in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So I do think you are probably right.
      Our beliefs do define us in so many ways.
      There is a huge sentimental streak in me in some senses. I love people, I love people who are very different to me. I find it fascinating to talk about beliefs even with those whose views are vastly different to me. I am fascinated by science and especially physics. I am fascinated by what makes people tick, what influences their outlook and behaviour. I have been in love with at least one man who I love so very deeply and yet we can’t really have deep discussions about beliefs because he becomes angry. There is a sadness there about it. On more than one occasion I have bitten my lip because I don’t want to argue…I just want to love. I have thrown my arms around him and said I would rather be wrong a million times over than lose him.

      Here is a question for you…and it is not meant to be controversial or provocative, I just wonder what you think. I can see that if one partner did not believe in a Creator and was anti-religion and the other partner was very actively religious and constantly pontificating about it – there could be fireworks. But what do you think of a couple who agree to disagree and decide not to talk about it? Or the partner who believes in a Creator does so silently. Perhaps someone who believes in a Creator but steers clear of religions who seem to have their own agenda. Someone who silently prays but does not speak about their beliefs to their partner because they know it would be provoking. I have a few friends in exactly that boat. I have seen a lot of love in those relationships, but also a lingering sadness.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your question is a good one and I think I’ll have to give it some thought and then respond to it in a post of my own, since my answer will probably be too long to fut into a comment.


  4. I already lived through the described situation and at times it was rough. Even before our marriage during a conversation with him, we broke up. Two weeks later he called, and said, “I will allow you to raise our children Catholic without any interference from me.” I told him at that time he would have to agree that my Catholic belief would always be first, and he would be second. He agreed and we married, had 6 children.
    After many years, he became Catholic and died one, 7 years ago. We were married over 50 years and looking back it was a good marriage. Looking forward to seeing him again.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If it’s causing that many problems, then no, the marriage is not going to work out.
    Plus, if one is a Christian, they should know that God forbids you going out or marrying people of opposing religions, and that they shouldn’t be going out with that person in the first place.
    But, if one is a Christian and in that situation, I would suggest really praying and reading the Word to know what to do next.

    Liked by 1 person

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