WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH – WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
You become aware that the marriage mate of a friend of yours is romantically involved with someone else. As far as you are aware your friend does not know anything about it.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
What is THE CARAMEL CRUNCH? Well, it’s all about decisions. When it comes to THE CRUNCH what would you do?
One of the definitions of the word CRUNCH is:
a crucial point or situation
– generally involving a decision with weighty consequences
- Your response can be a quickie. Please feel free to send a comment to say what you would do, and if you have time or are inclined, please feel free to explain your decision.
- If you would like to create a post with a longer explanation of your decision, please pingback to THE CARAMEL CRUNCH post. (Or copy and paste a link to your post in the comments section – please feel free.)
If you know anything about CRUSHED CARAMEL, you will probably realize I am a gentle soul, so my questions are not supposed to be terrifying! What I am hoping for really is to see a variety of responses. Afterall, it’s pretty obvious that WordPress bloggers are from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. It would be fascinating to learn more about how we as individuals make decisions.
Some of the questions I am going to ask are questions I have discussed with friends when we have been having coffee or dinner. I often find there is no clear right or wrong. It can be so much a matter of our individual experiences and outlook. I find it fascinating how very different some of us are when it comes to decision making.
We all have different outlooks, and may make different decisions. I am really looking forward to learning WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Caramel 
Nothing except be supportive when needed. I’m sure they already know.
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Ditto
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They may already know, or at least have suspicions. That is true.
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If the friend is a close one, I will find a way to tell them. Though it is a challenge as most spouses prefer to turn a blind eye to the shenanigans of their errant partners. A real difficult position.
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I have been in this situation.
In the end, I contacted the husband directly and explained to him that his new girlfriend has showed me a photograph of him. He told his wife that he had met someone on the internet (they’s been chatting online for a long time before they met) and that he had been unfaithful. Then he confessed to his new girlfriend that he was a married man, and that he was devastated to have hurt his wife.
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Well handled. But still so difficult to do so.
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I think you handled this well. It’s very difficult to know what would be best in that situation.
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It would depend if I actually knew for sure or if I’d just heard a rumour. If I did know for sure, and she’s the one who’s my friend, not him, then I would definitely tell her.
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I think that’s why when I was in this situation, I went directly contacted the husband to explain what I had seen before I did anything. His wife was a close friend of mine, and his new girlfriend was also a friend of mine.
He was the one who told both of them what he had done. He had not told his new girlfriend he was married, so she was very angry, and his wife was also. It’s a few years back now. He and his wife have survived the event and seem to be doing well. My other friend that he had originally met online is with someone else and seems happy.
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Oh dear, what a messy situation.
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I would let the friend know, but also ask the marriage mate why they went after someone else? Was there abuse? If so, then I wouldn’t let the friend know, and just call the police.
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All sorts can be going on in a relationship. Two imperfect people will have their challenges and misunderstandings even when they love each other. To maintain a loving relationship it takes a lot of effort and care. Sadly there are many things that can put strain on two people. Not being able to spend time together (because of work and other commitments), disagreements over money, feeling as if you are taken for granted or that your mate prefers the company of their family or friends other than you. Oh so many things that can start small but grow bigger until a rift forms.
I love to hear of people who have been married for 40, 50, 60 years! They must have come through all sorts of challenges and still maintained their loving support for each other. It’s so wonderful to find that kind of loyal love!
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My parents have been married for 21 years, going on 22 years later this year.
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