The Fixers And The Fixated

The adage featured for today’s FANDANGO’S FEBRUARY EXPRESSIONS is:

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it

bnaSo…first I am going to say this…if it is broken, fix it carefully. I am thinking of broken bones, broken hearts, broken bonds. They need to be realigned properly, otherwise more damage can be done.

My thoughts when I learnt this was today’s adage drifted back to a time when I suffered, and my colleagues suffered, because we had a new supervisor who seemed fixated with overhauling every aspect of our department! The memory of that stressful period is still something I hate to think about. It was one of the most miserable times in all the years I have worked. I wrote about it in this post: On My Way To Burnout.

Boy oh boy, have you ever faced a new manager or new supervisor who rushes in like a bull in a china shop with his (or her) own ideas about the way everything should be done and upsets everyone? Nightmare! I have a fear of newly promoted peeps. They seem to want glory for revolutionising the system. Is it due to some insane perfectionist tendency that people go about tearing down what others have faithfully done, and declaring some mega masterplan?

Aircraft, Double Decker, OldtimerI am not ignorant of the risks that come with parochialism.  I do believe everyone should be willing to make adjustments to the way they work (or in other areas) that would have better results. However, a pedantic tyrant, fixated with achieving their goal, is scary! They seem to lack appreciation for the hard work and loyalty that others have consistently displayed. I’ve seen some ugly situations develop, where those in authority had the attitude of “if you don’t like the changes I’m bringing in, then leave”! Trying to force through lots of changes all at the same time is like trying to disassemble and rebuild an aeroplane while it is in mid-flight. It is frankly terrifying!

But…I have a very long week of work ahead, and I am going to distract myself from work for a moment. My other thought on this adage is relationships. One of the factors that I believe can cause challenges in relationships is EXPECTATIONS! Am I right?

us2I know I have done it myself. My beloved and I might be getting on swimmingly, and then some random thought pops into my head that somehow we are not where we should be on the relationship scale. I become fixated with the fine details. I try to complicate matters, discuss terms and agreements, and I even use the C-word (that’s “commitment”, in case you were wondering!)

Sometimes it hasn’t been appropriate. I am sure I frightened the life out of Goldfinch by using the L-word (that’s “love”, in case you were wondering) within the first month of meeting him. In all honesty, I would have been happy to discuss marriage and possible babies right from the word go. Although there is a strong romantic streak in me, I have a business head when it comes to relationships. I think they should be contracted in writing from word go and have regular reviews and appraisals. (Ok…maybe not!)

I guess there is a balance. I don’t want to display an insane perfectionist tendency that demands conformity to some elevated ideal. I am old enough now that I am not going to allow a man to take me for granted. Nor would I put up with the slightest abuse. But I have to accept that my expectations may differ from his.

crackers1I have had to remind myself that my beloved might just want to take things at a more leisurely, less formal pace, and not feel pushed to make any pledges or promises before he is inclined. I have had to adjust my thinking and accept that I should make the most of what I have and look after it. I shouldn’t perceive ways in which a relationship that is absolutely delightful needs “fixing”.

In fact one of the adages a very sage aunt taught me has helped me in many relationships. Perhaps it’s one that Fandango himself might soon feature. The adage that has helped me to accept and enjoy what I have is:


There is a song from John Anderson, called “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It”…but I have chosen a song that helps me think of how I came to view the relationship I had with Goldfinch. I think he got to know me and understood my loopy way of thinking at times. That’s probably why he went back to Australia!


This was my response to today’s FANDANGO’S FEBRUARY EXPRESSIONS:


6 thoughts on “The Fixers And The Fixated”

  1. I am currently going through what you mentioned with your job. My supervisor isn’t new, but she does think she knows everything, delegated every detail of her job onto other people, and expects them to do them for her. I keep trying to convince her to put in her 2 week notice, because her SO makes an obscene amount of money and wants her to be home with him so he can whisk her away to the Bahamas whenever he feels like it. I keep trying to tell her life is short and we aren’t getting any younger (her SO is in his 60’s) & she should take this opportunity! I really hope she does, because things are SO STRESSFUL!!!! I’m so happy you have Jack, he seems like a great match for you!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are some very scary supervisors in this world!!!

      I hope you endure this situation. I have learnt over the years that things do change. I have had some challenging bosses….but things changed. Most of them left….or I left. Either way….the change was very welcome!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I like that word Jim.
      I have worked with lots of organisations that were scared of change….or perhaps the individuals were scared of change. They try to strike a balance between showing appreciation for the loyalty and faithfulness of people who have stuck at one method since time began…and try to introduce changes in a sensitive way, so that nobody feels as if they are no longer valued. One of the words I have heard a lot is that we don’t want to be parochial. We want to think of how we can best serve others.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I think some adages work in one context, but not another.
      I was thinking of that one about women’s place being in the kitchen.
      So…on a lot of the construction projects I have worked on they have made a very interesting decision…bear in mind that most of the volunteers are unskilled so they have to invest in training them. They decided to train all women to be plant vehicle drivers. That was because they were more careful with driving and operating the plant equipment. It was a decision that went down very well!

      Liked by 1 person

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