WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH – WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
You receive an invitation to the wedding of a friend. The reception will be at an expensive venue. You realize that they will be expecting guests to buy a gift from their wedding list. When you look at the gifts, they are all well beyond your budget.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
What is THE CARAMEL CRUNCH? Well, it’s all about decisions. When it comes to THE CRUNCH what would you do?
One of the definitions of the word CRUNCH is:
a crucial point or situation
– generally involving a decision with weighty consequences
- Your response can be a quickie. Please feel free to send a comment to say what you would do, and if you have time or are inclined, please feel free to explain your decision.
- If you would like to create a post with a longer explanation of your decision, please pingback to THE CARAMEL CRUNCH post. (Or copy and paste a link to your post in the comments section – please feel free.)
If you know anything about CRUSHED CARAMEL, you will probably realize I am a gentle soul, so my questions are not supposed to be terrifying! What I am hoping for really is to see a variety of responses. Afterall, it’s pretty obvious that WordPress bloggers are from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. It would be fascinating to learn more about how we as individuals make decisions.
Some of the questions I am going to ask are questions I have discussed with friends when we have been having coffee or dinner. I often find there is no clear right or wrong. It can be so much a matter of our individual experiences and outlook. I find it fascinating how very different some of us are when it comes to decision making.
We all have different outlooks, and may make different decisions. I am really looking forward to learning WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Caramel 
Buy them something you can afford.
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I agree Sheree. Have you ever been to a wedding that you felt as if everyone was wreaking of money? I have been to a few, and I just hoped they would not be cross with me when they realized I could not afford anything expensive. I have made some personalised gifts for friends and hoped that they would be alright with the effort I put in.
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Yes, I’ve been to a few of those and, if they’re genuine friends, they’ll have been delighted with your personalised gift.
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This one is simple for me. Buy them something that’s in your budget. It could be something personalised or that you’ve put some thought into to ‘make up’ for the fact that it’s less expensive. Either that or give them vouchers for the place where their wedding list is so they can put them towards something on their list. Don’t be pressured into spending more than you can afford.
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I love personalised gifts and home-made gifts. I have been to some weddings that were rather daunting. I realised that whoever was paying for the wedding was covering the cost of all the food and drink we were able to enjoy in a stunning location. I felt bad that my budget did not allow me to afford a gift that would be anywhere near as much as it cost them to have me as a guest.
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I think people choose the venue that they want for their wedding. I don’t think the cost per guest particularly comes into it as ling as they can afford the overall cost. I know what you mean though.
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I think I would buy them a gift I can afford.
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My philosophy is to live within my means. But although I would not spend what I could not afford, the amount of money than some of the weddings I have been to exhibited did make me feel rather uncomfortable.
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I don’t like it when people spend too much and want others to do the same.
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Just make them smile and be happy.
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Gift card to a place that sells item(s) they want. That way, if they don’t get something on the list they still want your gift card can offset the cost. Put it in a nice card and I’m sure they will appreciate the thought.
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Actually gift cards are a great idea!
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Thanks Mel!
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I tend to ignore gift ideas on lists unless there is a pragmatic side to it, but I wouldn’t go outside my budget and I would be somewhat miffed if they expected their guests to break their budget
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The friends and family I grew up would never have that attitude about weddings and gifts. But when I moved some of the friends I made as an adult had a lot of money. Their weddings were rather intimidating. I used to dread receiving an invite because there was a certain pressure involved. But I knew that it was my choice to work part-time so I could work as a volunteer for charities. I only met all these wealthy people because they wanted to get involved in the charities I was deeply involved with. So I hoped they would remember my choice to limit the amount of paid work I did and wouldn’t take offense that I could not afford a gift from their wedding lists. I have made a few personalised wedding gifts and hoped they were acceptable.
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If you want to go, just pick your own present. A photo frame is always useful.
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All good answers above, C. I think a gift card as M suggests is excellent too. If they can put it towards something they can’t afford, they’ll be happy. I think it’s rude to have a list at only expensive venues. It’s nice to choose a variety of stores to enable everyone to purchase.
Sent from my iPad
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I thought a gift card was a good idea too.
In the past I have ended up making personal gifts. But I have been to a few lavish weddings where I realized my gift might seem a little pathetic.
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And thank you notes, usually included in invitations they purchase, aren’t sent out. Maybe the whole world is just getting greedy.
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My answer differs from the others: I would not go if I could not afford a gift on the list. You said “friend,” not close friend or family, so I would RSVP that I could not make it and send a lovely card. I would feel too uncomfortable going if I could not give a gift that would repay their cost of my presence. Weddings are horrendously expensive.
If it were family or a close friend, I would talk to them about it and figure something out.
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I guess that’s the thing, with family or close friends who know you, the sense of obligation to go beyond your budget is not there. I have been invited to some weddings where I felt very awkward. I had no idea how wealthy their families were and I was shocked when I saw how huge an event their wedding was.
I have had a few dreadful experiences when it came to gifts!
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