Wish I Was There

I have the cutest card. It has a Costa Rican frog on the front of it. I decided I am going to use it to write a letter to Goldfinch.

Tree Frog, Frog, Red Eyed, Amphibian

But my head is full of all sorts of things that he won’t want to read about:

  • medical issues from work
  • boring training I have been undertaking
  • the royal family drama, I’m not interested in that, he won’t be. I know his solution for the royal family!
  • the new cereal iI found for breakfast
  • the lovely dress I wore at the weekend
  • the dinner and dance charity awards night I attended with Jack

That leaves me with Russia. he is interested in Russia. he has been there, I think he has lived there. There is someone very special to him out there. But he won’t really want me writing about Russia.

Beach, Sunset, Coast, Costa Rica

There is so much in my heart for him…but I suddenly find that I am not sure what he will want to read, what he will want to know. That scares me. It is hard enough coping with the 10,100 mile distance. I can’t bear the thought of any other kind of distance between us. I love him!!!

I guess what I want to write is that…

…I wish I was with him. I wish I could watch sunsets with him, walk hand-in-hand across beaches with him, curl up in a hammock with him. But I can’t write those words.

I am going to talk to Jack about it. Jack is so kind when I talk to him about Goldfinch. He will know what I should write.

7 thoughts on “Wish I Was There”

    1. Thank you Kristian. I am trying to be very careful. I have found it better to be open and honest with Jack about everything. But I would never want him to feel I regretted the way have things have worked out. It’s quite the opposite. It feels like a miracle. I am still in a state of shock at times that Jack came back. Jack is the one I should be with. But Goldfinch is enormously special to me.

      I think I drew on some of the feelings I have to describe how Annabelle, my fictional character struggled with her feelings for both Robin and Chris. It was helpful actually to have a fictional story to pour out my feelings.


      1. I love writing fiction for the same reason. It’s more believable when you put your emotions in it. And it’s also a great way to express your feelings without actually announcing your feelings. ❤❤ I can only imagine the shock it must have been when Jack came back in your life. I dont think feelings of love ever really end, so it’s natural that you still feel something for Goldfinch, but that doesn’t at all diminish the love you feel for Jack. ❤


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