My Heart Feels Like It’s Bleeding

Goldfinch is busy. I know he is busy. He has told me just how busy he is. Maybe it’s because I don’t have Jack here either…but I am missing Goldfinch so much! Last night was my third night in a row in tears. I don’t know when, or even if, I will see him again. It’s too much to bear. It breaks my heart.

bedSo many beautiful things he used to do. I loved feeling his arms wrapped around me. I loved it from the first night. I loved that he would fall asleep like that. I was a tiny bit claustrophobic perhaps when he first did so. I think it was just a sense of panic, needing to escape, which for someone in their first proper relationship since they were raped and beaten, was a little intimidating at first.

I used to gradually wriggle out of his arms, trying not to disturb his sleep. But he would wake up and realizing I was on the edge of the bed, he would grab me again and pull me into his warm embrace and hold me. You know what?…

…I grew to love sleeping in his arms.

2 thoughts on “My Heart Feels Like It’s Bleeding

    1. Although I would want him to be there, I don’t think he would want to be there. I don’t know. If it came to that, I would prepare him and try to make sure he understood how special it would be to have him there.

      Goldfinch never met my family. It was his biggest mistake. If he had met my family, he would have been completely in love with them. He does not know what he is missing. I wanted him to meet them. But because he was going back to Australia, he didn’t think it was time to “meet the parents”.

      Sad, that someone so special to me has not had chance to meet my wonderful family.

      Liked by 1 person

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