Last week I talked about how I felt a bit like Pluto in my orbit around the man who has been at the center of my thoughts. Sigh!
Of course my love life took a sharp turn in a different direction these past few months. I should not compare the two of them. But I will say this about “Jack” – he wears his heart on his sleeve even more than I do! He can’t hide how he is feeling, it’s so obvious looking at him. It means a lot that he seems completely wrapped up in me.
Already I can see that I am at the center of his thoughts. There is no issue with distance. Currently, we live on opposite sides of London, but we are able to make it work. We are spending a considerable amount of time together, and so far we have managed to do so with such discretion that nobody seems to have realized Jack has a girlfriend, and if anyone did suspect that was the case, nobody is aware that it is me.
He seems to think about me a lot. We talk everyday in addition to text messages or e-mails. He has planned all sorts for us. Almost everything we have done together was suggested by Jack. I need to start coming up with more ideas for dates together. He sends me links to songs he wants me to listen. I asked him why he wears so much black (he always did) and the next weekend he had a grey jacket. It suited him so much more than black. He has bought me flowers, he has (tried to make is perhaps more accurate) made me pancakes, he has bought me earrings (I am forever losing earrings!) and he has not bought me what I didn’t want – chocolates, because that would make me put weight on.
Most importantly, he has listened to what is very important to me. He has not dropped any hints or posted anything on Instagram (or any other social media as far as I know) that would raise any suspicions. He seems to respect how important it is to me that we have this time for just the two of us, and can then tell our families, before he launches his news on social media.
In general Jack is just doing a wonderful job of making me feel loved, cherished and key to his happiness. When we lived together, I was much more in shape – I was so active and hardly eating, I was attracting a lot of attention because of my slender body with the same large bosom I have had since I was ten. I remember him gazing at me often back then. But now, I am not that shape. I have love handles! But he is still making me feel very desirable.
I should not compare the two, the distance was an enormous challenge that meant it was always going to be hard to feel loved and cherished. But with Jack, it’s not just the geographic proximity…it’s other ways too. He makes me feel very close to him. He makes me feel as if I am at the center of his thoughts, at the center of his life. Jack makes me feel as if I am his Venus!