I Would Have Waited

My darling Jack. I am so happy he called me that day. I am so so happy. It’s still slightly incredible to me, even though the last couple of months have felt so right that it feels as if it has always been this way.

Changes sometimes come as a surprise don’t they. I had the surprise of the century. But I have tried to fully cooperate with it. It seemed so obviously wonderful – why would I resist that change?

No matter what happens in the future, the peace Jack has brought me, will always be priceless. All of the excitement, all of the special with him – is an amazing bonus.

I would have gone on as I was before. I loved Goldfinch so much. I would have worked had to save as much money as possible in order to save up to afford another plane ticket to Australia. I was so so so happy when I was out in Australia with him. Of course I wanted to go again. Of course I did. It’s hard to think of not being with him like that again. Really hard.

But things happened. Jack appeared – a bolt out of the blue. I was not expecting it. There was no way I was going to turn down a second chance with Jack – the man who has had a bigger impact on me than any other.

If it hadn’t been for Jack, I would have waited, I would have patiently waited until either I had to money to fly out there, or until Goldfinch came over here to England. But working extra hours to afford to go to Australia was tiring I have to admit. My life was intense for many months. I was living on a shoestring budget. I was eating well, because I have so many wonderful friends who kept on inviting me over for dinner so I could save my money. But it was hard. Sigh.

Love him still. I would have waited. I am not someone who likes to ever admit limits to how much I love, or how long I would wait for. But I was tired. I will admit that. Tired…yet energised at the same time. Love can do that to you. You press on despite the tiredness, because you love.