Be Prepared

Be prepared! A three five part saga is in progress on CRUSHED CARAMEL. This is Part One!

on itYou have very likely seen the fascinating series hosted by Beckie, the creator of Beckie’s Mental Mess, entitled “WORKING ON US”. Each week she selects a theme and invites us all to participate by writing about the challenges we may have faced on that theme and how we have worked to overcome those challenges.

I have been reading the posts from other bloggers for some time with great admiration. But until now, I have not felt I had much to say on many of the themes. However, the theme that Beckie has chosen for this week really resonated with me. The theme for this week’s “WORKING ON US” is “REJECTION AND OVERCOMING REJECTION”.

November 6, 2019 “Working on Us” Week #22 Mental Health Blogging Community-Mental Health Series, Topic: Rejection and Overcoming Rejection

If you have been reading my recent posts, you will know that I am a very happy girlie of late. Something amazing has happened in my life. Caramel is very cheery and content. Peace and joy have flooded into her heart. All is wonderful! But it was not always this way.

curveball.pngI am not so naive as to think I will never face painful challenges ever again. Having experienced painful rejection in the past, I am not going to set myself up for a crash that could to a crises. I am more aware of my weak points now, I know where I am vulnerable. I am going to be prepared for future disappointments, specifically when it comes to facing REJECTION. When life throws that particular curveball at me, I plan to be more prepared for it.

hindsight1In fact…when I first began writing posts on CRUSHED CARAMEL, I realized that this could be an avenue to talk about challenges in a way that I was fearful to burden anyone else with. I didn’t want to weigh down my friends and family. But somehow, an audience of complete strangers (often made up of those who have often had challenges to overcome themselves and write about what helped them to do so) seemed a safer and easier way to express what happened.

At the moment, the pain of the past seems so long ago. But right up until Jack made contact me, it was fresh, always just beneath the surface. In my case, when wounds heal, I forget the pain. Because all is wonderful at the moment, the memories that used to plague me have faded. But when life throws up painful challenges, sometimes that pain comes back full force.

sinkingLearning strategies to be prepared for a tsunami of painful, perhaps traumatic, memories that threaten to swallow you up, is so important. I have had to find ways to keep my head above water at times.

Since I began this post…I have realized that this could potentially become a very long post. I keep trying to shorten my posts, so I have decided to split this one up into a three parter. This is just the introduction. The other two posts will examine the challenges I faced on the theme of REJECTION, and then my own personal experience when it came to OVERCOMING REJECTION.

To give you a taster of what to expect, I found these posts that I wrote and have published on CRUSHED CARAMEL, during the eighteen months I have been blogging:

In One Word…

I Suppose I Did For Five Minutes…But That Was Over Three Years Ago

Storm’s Rollin’ In

I Think I Can Safely Say That Today Is Over

Hiding The Bruises

When Your Whole World Is Turned Upside Down

Stuffed PeppersI will publish this part now…and the other two parts will come as soon as I have time to work on them! Jack will be here soon. Yes…Jack! Isn’t it wonderful! I have stuffed peppers in the oven and some salad all made up. There is nothing naughty in my cupboards at the moment, so I have told him if he wants something naughty he can bring a pudding or some wine…or he has to be content with me!

2020 togetherI love him so much and I am so glad, so so glad that during the time I was hurting most, I managed to keep my painful feelings under control and held back from damaging Jack. He now knows the decisions I made to protect him, even though he had accidently hurt me. It would seem that he loves me for it. Although I am going to reexamine an emotionally intense period of my life, at the end of the day…that’s what matters most…love and peace. Everything else seems to be fading away for the most part.

Been Waiting For A Lifetime For You

ready.jpgI had so much love from Jack while we were away. I needed that. I had missed him so much. In the end it was only five days I went without seeing him, but that was too long.

I went for over four years with no him…and now I can’t cope with five days! I am just so incredibly aware of what he is doing to me. Every scar from the past is healing over. It’s as if carefully, delicately he is trying to understand all the damage that was caused when we lived together and finding ways to soothe those painful memories.

Jack told me that in the past, he didn’t take any responsibility for how I felt. Initially he thought I liked him, in fact he thought that for a long time. But he said when I was hanging around with male friends, he thought I was being manipulative (as if I have that in me!) and was trying to make him jealous. He didn’t know me well enough back then. He’s leaving nothing to chance now. Everyday he sends some kind of romantic message. When I am with him, he tells me how he feels about me. It’s amazing to hear him say those words.

annie sad1.jpgHe’s changing my view of him and everything that happened. I could never make sense of it on my own. It all overwhelmed me. I felt helpless, powerless to fight the sheer volume of nastiness and slander that was directed my way. I felt so rejected. I especially felt as if Jack had abandoned me. I was lost. Completely lost…that led to feelings of despair.

No more. Jack is undoing the past. In his eyes I feel safe. In his arms I feel alive. Tears and fears forgotten. He is freeing me. I didn’t know how much I needed him to recover. It turns out that he is the someone who fits in with everything I have been working for since I was sixteen. My once in a lifetime life partner. It almost went so terribly wrong…and now it’s going right.

I have just seen the invitation from Beckie, the creator of Beckie’s Mental Mess, to participate in the “WORKING ON US” theme for this week, which happens to be “Rejection And Overcoming Rejection”. As soon as I saw it a little cascade of emotions poured into my heart. I am thinking, I may try to write a post in response to this theme. There we go…I have pledged a post now. That means I am much more likely to tackle it!