Running Fearlessly Into The Fray

I will be so glad to finish this six day week of long long days at paid work. Still it will be a helpful boost to my bank balance. which will help me travel up and down to Wales, to see my family.

weekendI will be with Jack for three days. I hope we have some chance to stretch our legs and have some fresh air. We are going to be in a very pretty part of the country. I am so looking forward to it! And so glad to be with him again.

I have had lots of fears and concerns about what everyone will think of Jack and me, not just making peace, but trying to be a couple. Advice will come. Whether I ask for it or not!

I wouldn’t be doing this if it didn’t seem like a good thing. But I am aware of the challenges. I have already had a big taste of them in the past. The difference is, I was on my own back then, this time I am going to be with Jack when I deal with those challenges.

ready for rhtaI am a bit of a softie in some respects. I love people. So when five/six years ago I was called horrible names and became the target of slanderous slurs and insults, it did affect me. Most of that came from strangers. Some very upsetting accusations came from friends.

But what I found hardest is the way the people I admired and respected, people who I thought liked me, cooled towards me drastically. I have told Jack how much that knocked my confidence. I didn’t know who my friends were any more. Everyone seemed more worried about maintaining their friendship with Jack than me. Jack knows what a softie I am inside, how much I want to look at others with love. I have tried to explain how lost I feel at the thought of trying to restore all those friendships when they find out about Jack and me.

I want to run like a wild horse alongside him, fearlessly facing challenges, and this time…I don’t want those blows and those sharp arrows to slow me down. If strangers or “friends” start insulting, accusing, slandering me…I want Jack to help me this time. I wish I could ignore it all in some respects – but it is hard. It is hard to keep your smile when strangers make shocking statements about you.

 

14 thoughts on “Running Fearlessly Into The Fray

  1. I don’t know why friends would do that. It doesn’t seem as though they were acting out of concern for your well-being by saying those things publicly. I have had friends question me privately when I re-started a relationship that did not work the first time (my daughters did too). Turned out, they were right. But you’re saying that these people were not nice back then, during the first attempt. I can understand why you’d be worried now!

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    1. I think some of my friends got carried away. There was perhaps a bit of over familiarity and forgetting that they were talking about things that were sensitive.
      I saw a different side to people I had been having great fun with for the past few years. But when they thought I had messed Jack around, claws appeared – not nice.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have read all your posts regarding you and Jack and I will not offer you advice with regards to that. I will say your life is your life, how you and Jack chose to live it is up to you, and what others think not important. I know how easy it is to say that but I work so hard to live it. My life is my own. How I live it and how I raise my son are my choices no one elses and should they disagree have an opinion whatever it is my life. My decisions. Just live please without the worry. You deserve it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you! Sometimes I backtrack and begin to think I am doing wrong and then I remember this is my life and I have fought long and hard to get here. It took me too long to get here so sometimes I hope my experience can help others avoid the pain and heartache. 🤓💜

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Since I was a child, I am constantly being bombarded with criticisms and teasing. I learned that I must stand up and treat myself the best….even though people said I was selfish….

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    1. It’s been so nice to be away from the unusual invasion of my privacy and interest from strangers in my personal life that came with being connected to Jack. I have felt much safer. So I am just concerned in case I lose that when Jack and I start appearing together.

      Liked by 1 person

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