There is a reason it feels like I am running wildly into the arms of HOME. Although completely crazy in some ways, it just makes perfect sense. This feels like the ending that not even Hollywood could have conjured up for Caramel!
He and I – we are on the same page! We dream the same dream! We want the same thing! He and I are two peas in a pod personality wise. We are both devoted to the same things. We care about the same issues. There is unity in our thoughts and feelings on so many subjects.
Now we are learning to understand each other and building communication because we have a small (but glorious) window of opportunity to be truly alone. I hope that we are going to be strong together. Strong enough to withstand what is to come. Friends who might be bewildered. And then there are the opinion of all those strangers who “follow” him in one form or another. Scary scary!
I feel as if we are on a honeymoon and I am dreading the thought of having to leave this secluded secretive state and “go public.” I talk to him a lot about how I feel. I’ve had to make it clear how damaging the furore was, especially after he moved into our flat. He seems to have no anxiety about it. But I think he does appreciate I am not strong enough to deal with it. It’s so amazing being with him. When I am with him, I am not scared of what is to come. I just see him and only him.
I have been praying about him a lot. It might sound silly to you, the situation between us was of not great importance to the rest of the universe really. But I went to the London Excel Centre in August and sat listening to very inspirational presentations that were focused on love and it’s facets of expression. It was deeply moving, and it taught me not to give up hope. It was the end of August that I started to pray about him. Days later I randomly walked down a little lane on the other side of London and he just happened to be there with a couple of friends. I floated past in my sunglasses hoping he had not seen me. However, he did see me. I know that now. And look at what has happened. A miracle!