Falling In Love In The Fall

fall.jpgI won’t see Jack this weekend 😦 However, I will see him next weekend! Which will be strange, because I will be with him the nights the clocks go back. I met Goldfinch two years ago on the last Saturday of October, the night the clocks go went back an hour. Aaaaah sigh! So many memories of that thrilling night when he walked in! And it was thrilling! I don’t think I am ever going to forget it!

Still finding it strange that I love two men. I am trying to let it resolve itself naturally, just as Goldfinch said would happen. I am falling in love with Jack more and more every day. I always loved him, but now I am falling in love him – which is different, as many of you will no doubt agree.

It is time for the weekly SHARE-YOUR-WORLD post in response to the questions from Melanie, the creator of sparksfromacombustiblemind.

I have chosen to skip a couple of questions from the list this week (the answer was basically a big NO to both of them) and concentrate on the questions for which I had something more interesting to offer.

So you can see the full list of questions in Melanie’s original SHARE-YOUR-WORLD post below:

https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/2019/10/14/share-your-world-10-14-19/

QUESTIONS:

Why do we have such trouble telling our loved ones that we love them?  Do you have that kind of communication issue with your loved ones?

ralph and annieOh I have no issues with declaring my love! Nor my appreciation. I try to make sure everyone in my life, family, friends, colleagues know that I have fond feelings for them, and I tell them specifically what I appreciate about them.

In fact, if I am having difficulty warming to someone, I ask myself what are the positive qualities this person has, and then when I am next with them, I try to voice that.

If there’s one thing I want to give to everyone in my life – it is love. Telling them I love them is only a small part of that. I don’t understand why anyone would hold back. Love is good, really good! Life without love is just an empty existence.

pearl and annieThere are people who are desperately deprived of love. I think we should take every opportunity to mark our speech and behaviour, especially the way we treat others, with love. Saying the words, “I love you!” or “You mean the world to me!” or “What on earth would I do without you?”…or a million other ways of saying it, is important.

Humans thrive on love! It is an area we should never hold back in!

Do you donate to charities?  Of your time, do you feel money is the only true gift, or other? 

construction clothesSince I stepped foot on a construction site at the age of sixteen, volunteering for charities has been at the center of my life.

I have always worked part-time to earn my bread and butter and have shopped for clothes in charity shops and kept my needs and wants to the minimum, in order to give most of my time to charities.

For five years I was a full-time international volunteer. I did not receive any wages at all during that time. However, other people were generous towards us, giving us something towards our travel costs, or to buy winter clothing. As volunteers we tried to give whatever money we had left back to the charities we were working for (they provided us with basic accomodation and meals).

roofersThere are lots and lots of charities out there. I think if anyone is asking for contributions, it is wise to ask about their charity registration, unless it is a charity you know are legitimate.

Personally, I wouldn’t give money to just any charity. I would have to agree with the cause, trust that the charity use their donations properly and that they are not political or military. (I respect that governments can do whatever they want with our taxes.) As some of the assignments my colleagues and I have been sent on is to go into areas where military conflicts and political fighting have wreaked havoc and caused unimaginable damage and heartbreak – I would be careful to avoid funding those who are often contributing to the mess we go in to help to fix.

projectsBecause of the effects of the head injuries I received the night I was attacked, I can’t be involved in construction projects currently, nor can I be sent abroad. So instead I work on non-construction roles in connection with community projects closer to where I live and I help with administration tasks, including all the planning that is required for projects. I miss the kind of assignments I used to be involved with.

at work.jpgJack has two assignments overseas in the new year. He has been involved in a huge local project here for the past few months but that is scheduled for completion by the end of this year. That’s why he has been able to see so much of me. But al that will change once this project is over. He could be sent anywhere in the world for any length of time. The future for Jack and I is slightly complicated. So I will have to get used to him being abroad for weeks at a time 😦 That will be hard!

GRATITUDE:

This week please share a photo or image of what ‘harvest’ and “Autumn” mean to you!

spiffing.jpgI think “harvest” is an American thing. Is it something to do with “Thanksgiving”? But we do certainly have Autumn here in England! I will be honest with you, I love spring and summer, so I am not exactly jumping for joy when autumn creeps in. But just for you Melanie, I will try to think positively about autumn!

What does it mean to me? Here are a few things that come to mind:

  • walking in the woods
  • snuggling up on the sofa
  • sipping hot chocolate or gingerbread lattes
  • apple and cinnamon cake, pie or crumble
  • rainy days, grey skies
  • boots and rain-coats
  • butternut squash soup
  • darker evenings
  • secret rendezvous in the countryside

Well…I hope I got into the spirit of autumn! Here is more to set the scene for falling in love with fall and during the fall!

9 thoughts on “Falling In Love In The Fall

  1. I donate to a couple, but time not money. I think charities are almost universally good causes but have found in the past that when I have donated money, that just led to repeated requests for more money. I’m not really in a position to give money these days, anyway, which is a shame because charities give every indication that they value money over time. Recognise the Mick Hucknall song but had forgotten its name – I saw him live on tv a few months ago and he still has a beautiful voice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I worked for a record company in Manchester, the owner told me that years earlier, Mick Hucknell had auditioned or sent a demo tape. He told me that he told Mick that he needed to go and take singing lessons. He said it was the biggest mistake of his career to turn him away. At that point (and perhaps still now, I don’t know) Mick Hucknell owned some of the most popular music clubs/venues in the North!

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  2. Here’s a book for your to read. The Prince of Tides. Here is the part about loving two people. “At the top of the bridge with the stars shining above the harbor, I look to the north and wish again that there were two lives apportioned to every man and woman”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂

      I was thinking about it the other day, even though it is over ten years since I ended the courtship (I was courted by my best friend Jammy from my late teens until I was 24/25) I still love my first boyfriend. I just did not want to live with him/marry him. But he has always been a very important part of my life and who I am today. I would never dream of acting on that love (he is married to a lovely woman) but nonetheless, I am glad that in my heart I do love him still. It’s better to have those fond warm feelings than having resentment or bitterness. But because of those feelings, there would be clearer boundaries in the interaction I had with him, especially after he was married.

      That is a lovely quote. ❤

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  3. It’s funny, but I firmly believe that we weren’t meant to love just one person. I am not talking platonic love, but that deep connecting love. What’s funnier is that until. I came to this conclusion, I though I didn’t believe in love. I think we have been conditioned to love only one person, that it is considered cheating to have those feelings with another. I also think you can have those feelings be mutual and not act on them (although it would make it easier to have had that opportunity ala Goldfinch) still we are programed to fight those feelings or dismiss them or ignore them because their wrong or else suffer from guilt. But it makes sense. Its quite possible you will never fall out of love with him, especially if he gave you no reason to fall out. It will be a lot easier to accept that, and hopefully Jack will know and if he is who you say he is, he would understand because he is secure with your commitment to him. Just a thought. 😁💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. In some ways those 10,100 miles are a blessing right now. Because it would be very hard if they were both on my doorstep!

      I think I am glad that I have those loving feelings for Goldfinch. Many end a relationship on a bitter resentful note. I am glad that I only have love in my heart for him 🙂

      I like that Jack and I are being open with each other. I don’t want to hide anything from him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like you are in a great place, and I am super happy for you. The last two I had, I wish ended when they should have. I miss not having them in my life, because I think we would have been much better friends. But because we dragged it out so long, it left too much of a bad taste. I honestly feel like I could have continued to love them, because I don’t think I would have ever stopped caring for either one. Everything happens for a reason, right?

        It seems also that Goldfinch is in a good place with it all as well (unless I completely missed something). When did GF know/find out about Jack? I am assuming Jack has understood/understands your feelings about GF and no hunt of jealousy or uncomfortableness?

        I agree with you about the hiding. I think a major downfall/or sign I should have recognized with those two was that I realized I had started keeping things more to myself. I didn’t want to mention anything that I felt would have upset the balance. And once I started doing that, which happened to be when things got derailed a little, it became less of that intimate relationship, and that morphed into more and more resentment/regret. Had I listened to that little voice, the end would have not been hard, not hurt as much, and a friendship would have been salvaged. SO keep that honest and open comm and above everything else, listen to the realistical, rationale you. That’s the voice that will guide you, especially once the “honeymoon” excitement subsides a little.

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