He Has Gone…

By the time you read this, I will be on a train zooming along the London Underground Piccadilly line. I will be heading away from Heathrow Airport, back into Central London. Goldfinch will be up in the air, somewhere above France by now.

I want everyone to know…I truly have had the time of my life with Goldfinch. I am grieving right now. But he has been very very wonderful for me.

You will forgive me if I am a bit quiet in days to come won’t you. I have been tagged for a few challenges and nominations and questions and answer posts. I have started them. I will finish them. But it might be a few days. Please be patient with me. I have arranged lots of things with friends when I am not working (I don’t want to be alone at the moment) and I have also agreed to do lots of over-time at work, on the lead up to the holidays. Being busy will help distract me. Because I can tell you, my heart feels like it is bleeding at the moment.

So so sad am I. I am always just a wisp away from tears. I do hope I don’t have to deal with any rude clients at work or any stressful situations while my manager is on holiday. Otherwise I am going to end up crying at work!

Still, it is ok to be sad. It is perfectly normal to be sad when you are separated from someone you love. So I am going to allow myself to be sad. It will pass. I am a very joyful person. I love life.

But I am allowed to be sad right now. So don’t you worry. My sadness is a normal healthy reaction to being parted from the man I love and has made me feel so wonderful this year. I am not going to do the whole stiff-upper-lip thing. I am going to have my tearful moments and I might even allow myself a naughty treat on days that seem excessively sad. Isn’t that why cake was created?

But, there is a lot to look forward to. It is not long until I will be with my family. I am so excited about seeing my niece. She will be so good for me, as 20-month old children tend to be!

For weeks I have been wondering if there was one song I could include in a post about my big Goodbye with Goldfinch. I didn’t want it to be miserable or dire. I wanted it to be a celebration of how he has made me feel during this past year.

One day about a month or so ago, the song came to me!

When I am feeling up to it, I will tell you more about the grand Goodbye with Goldfinch and I will do more celebrating the wonderful wonderful year I have had.

Just right now, I don’t feel like celebrating! But I will look back at a later date and have so much wonderful to share with you!