After having my hair done in the salon round the corner from the little nest, and putting on my new dress, I will be heading to the train station to meet Goldfinch for the very last time. One last time experiencing the anticipation of his arrival.
I can’t wait to see him arrive, pulling his suitcase up the long platform towards me. I might even be tempted to video that moment so I can play it back again and again in the future. In fact I suddenly feel I don’t have nearly enough photographs of Goldfinch. I have some… from the summer when we spent time together in London, and from our weekend in Bath. But I forget to take photos. I am always too wrapped up in the moment. This weekend I am going to annoy him by taking too many photos! This is the one last time I am going to have chance though.
Then I shall be spoiling him right up until the moment he has to leave me. Does he realize how hard it will be? Last December, we queued at Heathrow at the check-in desks…and then went and shared mince pies and had a thumb war (which I won, although he still doesn’t agree with that) and then he disappeared through to the departure lounges.
I wrote about it, of course:
Now…at that point I had only known him for about five weeks, and it hurt to see him go. I kept making him promise me he was going to come back to England. I can’t do that this time. There will be no promises. Well, I will make him promise to be happy and healthy and live life to the full! But no emotional pressure shall come from me. I don’t want to send him away with a heavy heart. Nope…I want him to be leaving me loved up and full of happiness. Saying goodbye for one last time.
Everything will be for one last time.
All requires a lot of bravery from me…I have to say! I have lots of treats lined up for Goldfinch. His wish will be my command…and I shall treat him like royalty – don’t I always do that?
But then…comes the really hard bit, for one last time:
One last time…
This is so heartfelt.
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Thank you Sadje!
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Welcome dear
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Will you let him know that it is one last time before, during, or after his last visit?
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I met Goldfinch just over a year ago and he told me he was probably only going to be in England for a few months as the project he was working on was due to end in March. However, the project ran overtime..and he has been able to stay until now.
All year I have been travelling to the Midlands to see him and he has been travelling to London to see me. I always try to go to the station to meet him, the same way as he is waiting to greet me when I travel to him. But this time will be the last because he is going back to Australia to live and work.
😦
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Seems the story can always be “rewritten”.
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It’s a bit complicated…
I received severe head injuries when I was the victim of a crime over three years ago. I still have some difficulties due to those injuries. It’s really hard for me to make plans.
I need to be near my family I feel. They have “nearly lost” me several times…I can’t uproot and go to Australia. They would be very upset. I need my family too. They have been a huge support to me.
There are other things too that have been on my mind and made me realize I need to be brave and let go of the man who has brought me so much happiness.
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You do have to be near family. Maybe Mr Goldfinch should leave it all to be near you. As always I have ideas…
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Beautiful. 🙂 Hope you both have a lovely Christmas & keep in touch! ❤
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Thank you Tom!
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Really touching.
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Thank you 🙂
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Oh my goodness CC, I’m proud of you for being so positive about this. What a champ you are!
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Aaaaaw thank you!
Brave now…
…cry later (and a lot of comfort eating!)
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Very touching indeed and heartfelt. I want to put an arm around your shoulders and give you a quick hug!
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Thank you…
…I have my brave face on!
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Beautifully written.❤
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Thank you so much Roland. It’s been a very emotional few days. I am left with a fridge full of comfort food and many many wonderful memories!
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Have a wonderful time now, save the tears for later.
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I was so brave…I didn’t cry in front of him until the very last moment!
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That is truly brave, my dear! I also know the dam must have burst later. But I am sure you must have heard from him by now. You have shared such beautiful moments with Goldfinch with us and there must be many more close to your heart. ❤️
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Be brave now… and cry later if you must, but only for a short time. Remember your Goldfinch with happy thoughts. 😊
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I had no idea I was going to be able to control my tears so well…
…I made sure he had a wonderful time before he left…my eyes welled up as he was disappearing through to the departure lounge and I cried as I was leaving Terminal 2. But I made sure we both had a very happy time together before he left.
Thank you for your lovely message 🙂
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The power of love and grief is so potent, and well expressed here
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I managed to take lots of photos…
…lots of wonderful memories!
This is grief business is hard!
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Yes grief is the most difficult of all. Glad to hear that you took lots of photos.
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Hey there Mel, nicely penned 🙂
To cheer you up, l have nominated you for the Mystery Blogger Award 🙂
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2018/12/11/mystery-blogger-award-nomination-5/
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Just gifted you the ultimate White Elephant challenge gift 🙂
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2018/12/12/white-elephant-challenge-8/
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Very touching
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Thank you…
…it was all very emotional!
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True
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I’m glad to see that this is another reblog judging from the dates the comments were put up. I was getting worried.
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The re-blogs are nearly finished. I think the last couple of posts are about his flight to Australia and the post I wrote when I came back from the airport without him.
But as I mentioned the other day, we have kept in touch and I was able to spend some time in the summer with him in Adelaide, which was wonderful.
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That’s good. When are you two going to tie the knot?
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I hope it worked out for you.
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This was another of the posts I wrote last year. This one was originally published in |december 2018 when Goldfinch moved back to Australia. I met him October 2017. When he left England I was scared I would never see him again. But he has turned out to be a pretty decent penpal and I have been able to go out to Australia to stay with him.
I just have to see how things go. I love him very much. He has been wonderful. But the 10,100 miles is pretty inconvenient!
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