Annabelle and Robin are still out in the countryside near West Creek. This post follows on from the last one, so if you haven’t yet read it, you might find it helpful to go back one post 🙂
These are the previous parts of Annabelle’s story:
“Come here Belle.”
Annabelle shuffled herself over to Robin so that she was sitting right beside him. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and his right arm reached across her drawing her into him.
“Isn’t it lovely Munchkin?” sniffed Annabelle.
“I am six foot one – in what way am I a munchkin Baby?”
Annabelle replied with a quick peck on Robin’s cheek.
“Belle, I want you to go and speak to your Doctor and explain what has been happening and ask if there are any local services they can refer you to. Some kind of counselling perhaps. Will you do that?”
Annabelle muttered almost inaudibly, “If you want me to I will.”
“I do want you to. Hey, what’s the matter? Are you crying? No, no tears allowed. Why are you crying?” Robin ran a finger down the right side of Annabelle’s damp face.
“I’m sorry. I’m just dreading it.”
“Why are you dreading it?”
“I don’t want everyone to think I’m a basket-case. I like it here in Blackwood, but if they start to think I am some kind of a psycho, you have no idea how cruel the gossip can be. Certain members of the women’s zumba club would have a field day.”
“It would be completely confidential between you and a Doctor Belle. And if you are sensitive about it, you could always ask if you can see a counsellor or a therapist in another town.”
“I just feel like such an idiot,” Annabelle put on a childish voice and wriggled in Robin’s arms.
Robin sighed, “Claudia frogmarched me into rehab. I felt like a complete idiot being checked into The Priory at Roehampton. But it was extremely helpful Belle. I couldn’t break the cycle I was in alone. I needed professional support. What I am asking you to do will be nothing compared to what I had to go through. It was humiliating. Although, I hardly cared, I was so low by that point.”
“I feel as if I have been such a burden to you.” continued Annabelle.
“You have never been a burden. Don’t say things like that. Belle, you need to get some balance in this pretty head of yours. You say things that are so extreme, so dire. You make everything so intense. I honestly think you will find it helpful talking things out with some kind of therapist, just to see where your thoughts are too wild and damaging to you and everyone else.”
“But I can’t stop thinking about everything you’ve given up or lost because of me.”
“Hush! You’re being silly. Annabelle you are not a burden, you have never been a burden. Being in a relationship, being a parent – it’s all a responsibility, a big responsibility. We have both struggled with that at times. And we’ve both had some really tough situations to deal with, things that neither of us could ever have predicted. Things might challenge us in the future too. That’s why I think we should both work on being stronger people, so we can face those tough times and be there for each other.”
“Switzerland is so far away. I’m so sorry Robin. I’m so so sorry. I am complaining about everything because this is going to be hard for me.”
“It’s going to be hard for me having to say goodbye to you in a couple of days. But you and I, we both have some things we need to sort out, so we are in a better place. You’re not happy are you? I can see. But I have to clear my debt Belle. Working for Claudia’s dad is the only shot I have at the moment.”
“Can I be honest Robin? Please don’t be angry.”
“Of course you can.” Robin looked at her earnestly.
“Maybe it’s because I’m tired. This week has been tiring. I know you want to pay off the debt. But I feel as if you are saying that you can’t face being with me until I change. It almost feels as if you are pressuring me to go and get some counselling by threatening that you won’t be able to live with me until I change who I am.”
“I am not trying to threaten you. I am telling you how I feel. I have needed to get some support and it has really helped me, and I really want you to do the same. But at the end of the day, it is your decision. I just think you are frightened now about something that is going to be very helpful to you.”
Annabelle pursed her lips together. Robin waited for her to think about what he had said. Eventually her response arrived, “fine.”
“Fine?” Robin raised his left eye-brow.
“You think it’s going to be easier to live with me afterwards. So I’ll do it.”
Robin shook his head and took Annabelle’s face into his hands, “You are too much Annabelle. Honestly, I am sure you are going to look back and laugh at yourself. Do you know what I should do with you? I should yank those pants of yours down, bend you over my knee and take my hand to your behind!”
“Hey!” exclaimed Annabelle with a comical look of dismay.
“You know you would love it!”
“Robin Grainger. You are not taking a word I say seriously.”
“I am listening to every word. But I don’t think I can reason with you when you are like this. I love you Belle. I love you so so much. I know I have let you down, but I am trying so hard to make up for it. I love you and your very beautiful but sometimes wild way of thinking and feeling. I would like you to get some help just to tame the thoughts that cause you to want to hurt yourself. That is all I am asking. It’s not about changing who you are or making you easier to live with. It’s about getting a bit more control up here.” Robin tapped his index finger onto the side of his head.
Those were the words that Annabelle had been longing to hear. She threw her arms around Robin’s neck and pressing her nose against him breathed in the scent of his skin. “Thank you,” she whispered to him.
“Let’s go build a boat for me and you, and sail away on the ocean blue.”
“Oh, you’re stealing Dean’s lines now are you?”
“That was the only song I actually liked on their first album. That’s the one he wrote for you isn’t it – “She Dreams” – how did I never figure that out before?”
“How is it going little bro? Are you being the perfect host?”
“Hey Gina, I have no idea how you talked me into this. He’s a jerk. He’s had Annie in a right state.”
“Well I am sad for Annie. I like her a lot. But that’s going to make you look even better Chris. So maybe you will be thanking me if things work out between you and Annie.”
Another part coming soon…
Kim, the creator of Writer Side of Life has given us some great writing prompts. Several of them appealed to me, but I have only chosen one to work on for now, because I am still playing catch up with blogging, after my trip to Australia:
I chose a prompt under the ROMANCE section: 3. Who is she waiting for?