Next To Me Where You Should Be

night bus.jpgDid you know that there was a 3.15 in the morning?  It might seem hard to believe but, there really is!  I only know because this morning, I left my sweet abode to accompany Goldfinch into Central London where he would board a coach taking him far away from me.

The roads were completely silent right up until we reached the heart of London.  Well we saw foxes. Goldfinch loves foxes. (Ha ha – I think I already knew that!)

Hand in hand with the Goldfinch, dancing in the moonlight waiting for the night bus, singing every romantic song I could think of into his ear.

Standing there until the last minute so I could wave goodbye to him as the coach pulled away from the inner court of the station, and then running outside onto the main road so I could see the coach pass. Standing on the pavement waving at him…but he was looking down at his phone, so the coach-driver probably assumed I was some crazy lady waving at him.

night Big BenMaking my way back across London to my little nest.  Gazing up at the sky – pink and blue…the same colour as me.  Flushed pink with adoration and affection for my Goldfinch, blue once I have parted from him yet again, knowing my time with him is flitting away at an alarming pace.

Climbing back into bed and breathing in his scent on my pillow. Letting a few tears trickle down (I didn’t let my eyes leak once while I was with him) and deciding the only thing to do is to send him a text message “I LOVE YOU GOLDFINCH”…and then drifting away into sweet sleep. Wishing he was beside me, and we were all set to hibernate together for the winter months.

Opening my eyes realizing he is not there.  He should be, he should be next to me.  But he is already miles away, probably on his way to work by now, back to the grindstone, back to routine.

Goldfinch…should be always next to me.





FOWC with Fandango — Routine

8 thoughts on “Next To Me Where You Should Be

    1. Do you believe me now that 3:15am does exist?

      The funny thing is Gary, I have never actually had a proper short-distance relationship!

      My teenage sweetheart moved when I was seventeen, and for seven years we wrote and called each other and occasionally visited each other.

      I have dated men who lived near but nothing developed. My ex (before I met Goldfinch) lived in the South West, but had a little flat in London, so he would come and stay in London when he could. But he travelled to New York and Tokyo all the time, so I was seeing him less and less. Goldfinch lived in Coventry when he was here in England, and now of course Australia.

      Then there is my ex-flatmate Jack – we were in the same flat and it all went terribly terribly wrong. So maybe, I am just better at long-distance relationships. Maybe Jack is proof that I am not real girlfriend, or wife material.


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