Resistance Is Futile

I have found the last few days a bit distressing reading about this Borg-like entity, apparently registered in India, that is assimilating all of our blogs. I am baffled by it all and very upset that it has caused some of my favourite bloggers to feel they need to close down their sites.

Blogging to me is just a bit of fun, a hobby, and it gives me the chance to think about my family and loved ones, and what I want them to remember if my head injuries wreak even more havoc on my life than they have already. But for those who are serious and talented writers and have works they need to protect, I understand the concern they have felt. It’s great to see Captain James T Fandango coming up with a way to wage battle against the borg-bots. Hold on wrong captain…I  mean Captain Jean-Luc Fandango don’t I?

I am a bit late in response to lots of prompts, nominations for awards and writing challenges at the moment. But I am working on them. There is a lot going on in my drafts folder – I have fifty posts in progress!!! My philosophy is BETTER LATE THAN NEVER…but if you are looking out for my response to a nomination or tag, by all means give me a shout!

Some prompts I just cannot resist, like FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:

What are the three biggest challenges your country (or, if you prefer, the world) is facing right now?

Well, I don’t think I can provide a detailed answer to that question, as it would cast a cloud over my otherwise sunny disposition. But amongst those challenges are these three:

• GREED
• SELFISHNESS
• HAUGHTINESS

I am going to spend a little longer considering the alternative question Fandango provided as this week’s FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:

What are the three biggest challenges you are facing in your life right now?

Fandango asked us a similar question a few months ago and I appointed him as Doctor Fandango. If you would like to see how I answered back then, this was my post.

Dr Fandango Will See You Now

So what about now? What am I finding challenging now? Hmm…let me think about this. I have challenges like everyone else. Some little and some large. But I do find I have a great deal of resilience and pragmatism when it comes to my challenges. I don’t find myself overcome with anxiety about too many things on a personal level. What does get to me are things that I cannot control.

ONE OF MY CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS IS VERY ILL. Cancer. I am not writing in detail about it at the moment, because it would no doubt lead to a torrential outpouring of emotions, and it’s all a bit overwhelming right now.

What doesn’t help perhaps, is that so many of my family, myself included, have worked in the medical field for years. Doctors, nurses and carers. I worked with patients with terminal illness for five years. So we are all so clued up on cancer, it is hard to resist worry!

But I have been making decisions and changes to my life that mean I can be there for my family member more often, and can literally up sticks and move at a moment’s notice. I will write about the changes I have made at a later date. I have been a busy lady since I came back from Australia.

I AM MISSING GOLDFINCH. Aaaaagh! Matters of the heart. It is not easy to be in love with a man that lives on the opposite side of the planet to you.

Well, the loving is easy. It’s the thought of how long will it be until I can be with him again? I had such an amazing time in Australia. And I have come back to England more in love than ever and completely baffled as to how I am going to face months ahead without him.

Long distance relationships bring challenges that can be hard to understand. Challenges that I don’t think I have faced before. For example…when you are feeling low, wishing you had someone to offer comfort and affection, but the person you know you were wishing was here, is not here, nowhere near, 10,100 miles away – then the temptation to respond to the friendliness of someone else who is attractive to you is huge. Sigh! Especially when the person nearer to you seems so lovely and so kind and excites you….and you have no idea if you will see the person you are attached to this year or not. It is a great test of your self-control.

I will say this – I honestly believe that married couples who decide that economically it would be best for one to work or study abroad are putting themselves and their marriage at great risk.

When you are separated by distance from the person who claims your heart, but there is someone right here right now who makes you smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside – it is hard to resist. I have resisted.

I AM STILL NOT WHERE I BELONG. I am still unable to go back to my life and career because of my head injuries. That is a cloud that doesn’t seem to want to shift. So I am still just making my way in the world today with everything I’ve got. Having a break from all my worries sure would mean a lot. I am always wishing to be back where everyone knows my name, was always glad I came and they all felt the same.

I crave a sense of purpose in my life. Existing without a cause is not an option for me. The work I was involved in as a volunteer provided inspiration, satisfaction and prompted tremendous energy in me. Oh how I long to be back there – alongside other people who are not interested in financial gain but are devoted to making a difference to the lives of others.

There is one man who prevents me from moving back to the area I was living in and working with more of my former colleagues who have decision making power over my future as an international volunteer. Jack. And nothing has changed on the Jack front. He is still there, right in the middle of all the volunteer projects on that side of London. He is one of the most popular volunteers. He still has a crazy amount of fans and followers. He is still on television and at huge events (and small events). I am still being careful and am anxious in case I am at the same event and somebody connects the two of us or snaps a photograph of us near to each other. I can’t abide photos of me in reference to Jack being spread again. Can I trust Jack will be able to resist returning to his thoughtless ways of fuelling the media interest he had because of his connection with me? It forces me to hide away and take pains to avoid him. Many an evening has gone pear-shaped because I realized Jack was present at an event and I had to beat a hasty retreat.

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Thank you Doctor Fandango for my blogging therapy session. I hope you received the cheque in the post for my last therapy session and look forward to receiving your invoice this time round.

I hope I am not giving you a headache reading all about my challenges. Challenges can be good for us, or not – depending on the challenge. But they sure do make you realize what really counts in life.

Whatever challenges you are dealing with currently, keep going! Keep positive, we are rooting for you. We all long for a world where the most painful challenges are removed, and instead we can get back to making this beautiful planet the paradise it should be. Roll on the good times ahead, when the greatest challenge will be: how on earth are we going to keep in touch with so many wonderful friends???

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This post was my response to this week’s FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:

Fandango’s Provocative Question #34