31 | Jul | 2019

I just thought I should mention that I am still republishing a bunch of posts from last year. In 2018 I published a lot about Caramel and Goldfinch, and because of my trip to Australia and not having so much time to write fresh material, I started to republish them.

So I know it might be a bit confusing. Especially this week’s posts – they refer to a week last year when Goldfinch was abroad without the phone I used to keep in touch with him. He had told me he would be going away but I had forgotten, and I thought he was upset with me because we had disagreed over Jack. But that was last year.

I looked at the post I have scheduled to be published tomorrow morning, and I realized that I had written it in the midst of my miserable assumption that Goldfinch had cut off contact with me and didn’t want to speak to me. But as you will see from my posts, the very same day that I posted that, I managed to speak to Goldfinch on his work phone…and that changed everything!!!

Everything is fine now, in fact everything is wonderful. I am slowly working on posts about my time in Australia, I have just had a lot of catching up to do with friends and family and things to sort out here, which is why I am depending so much on old posts to keep my blog alive and kicking.

I can’t cope with the radio. I don’t listen to it at home usually. Years ago when I worked for a record company I found my head never stopped buzzing with lyrics of popular songs and I needed to switch music off to be able to think clearly.

I do love music, especially going to live music events, but I tend to listen to music with friends rather than on my own, because when I am alone it can have a big effect on me.

Well today at work, my workmates wanted to have the radio on, and I kid you not, the playlist was just about the worst combination of songs to hear when I am so heart broken about Goldfinch. I kept on having to hide my tears. It was as if someone knew what I was carrying in my head and heart and they just thought “let’s play all the songs that are going to push her buttons and make her cry“.

As soon as my work mates left…it was radio off!!

The first song was especially poignant because it was the song Jack and I shared:

But all the other songs just made me think of what is happening with Goldfinch.