For Your Eyes Only

in front of citylightsWell…it has been a while! My tablet went on strike while I was out in Australia and refused to work properly. Whenever I tried to use WordPress, the screen would just keep flashing black and white, so I kept on having to turn it off and on again. So I feel a bit rusty when it comes to writing posts. Now I am reunited with my lap-top, I am trying to get back into the swing of things, but I have a lot of other stuff to sort out at the moment.

Indeed, I found myself waffling with some of my answers to this week’s SHARE-YOUR-WORLD questions from Melanie, the creator of sparksfromacombustiblemind:

What happens if you-stare at the mirror for too long in the dark?

(credit to Ursula of An Upturned Soul)

mirror darkI feel as if I am going to have to try this now. This flat is never really dark. There is always a slight glow that seeps through the blinds from the steetlights outside. So I suspect that even if I turned off all the lights and sat in front of the mirror staring, I would see my reflection.  – IS THAT A SENSIBLE ANSWER?

Oh…the question was what if you stare too long? Well, knowing me, I would fall asleep pretty soon after the lights went out.

Do you think you’re judgmental?  What tends to bring it out in you?

(Credit toAshleyleia)

Hmm – good question. I am guessing the question is pertaining to how we view other people? After all, we all use a sense of judgement in mundane matters on a daily basis. I am assuming that Ashley was referring to when we come across someone or a group of people who might be “different” in their speech/dress/behaviour from ourselves?

coffee-ingFunny enough I was thinking about this when I was out in Australia. I met a young woman whom I really enjoyed chatting to. So much so that we met up a few days later for a coffee…and we just happened to both be at the airport at the same time when I had to come back to England (she had a friend who was on the same flight as me).

I was talking and thinking outloud – always a bit dangerous – but I started to talk about why I feel uncomfortable being judgemental and as I was mid-sentence I corrected myself and admitted that we have to use our judgement in reality.

binge drinkingFor example, I get on with people in a polite way. I have had workmates that I am very friendly with and have a great rapport with and I always maintain a good spirit with them. However, I hear things they tell me about themselves – perhaps how they make a habit of binge drinking, they sleep around, they have extreme views which smack of racism or they insinuate they dabble in shady activities. I might be listening to all this and although I would never behave differently with them at work, my judgement tells me I wouldn’t want to associate with them outside work, I would not want to start a romance with them etc

expensiveEven with my friends, I sometimes have to preserve and employ my sense of judgement. They are my friends because they have qualities I admire and they have good habits which show they value the gift of life and they are decent. But I sometimes pick up on little traits that I don’t want to unconsciously adopt -perhaps they waste money on £1000 handbags or flashy cars, perhaps they are unkind about people for petty reasons, perhaps they are unreasonable and belligerent with some of their opinions. We all have our imperfections, our weaknesses. But I think we should be always on the look out to try to make sure we work on them, and don’t let undesirable behaviour become ingrained. I love my friends – but I don’t want to develop a love for expensive things, and I don’t like unkindness and haughtiness.

beauty.jpgSo I guess yes, I can be judgemental – but not in a negative way. I just try to be aware of what it is to be a beautiful person on the inside, how wonderful qualities like kindness, modesty and honesty are, and how much effort my parents put in to developing goodness in us and how that is something to be safeguarded. I would not go around denouncing those who I may not necessarily choose to associate with. I would ot view my friends with a suspicious or critical eye and would only ever point something out to them if I thought they were hurting others or harming their own reputation by persistently doing something dubious.

cautious.pngI would never be unkind to someone whose life-choices I did not really agree with, but it is unlikely I would have a close bond with them. Even if I was friendly and helpful and affable and lovely to them, my judgement would always be reminding me to be on guard lest I cultivate unhealthy habits and attitudes. I don’t think anyone would ever realize I had made a judgment until they asked me out for a drink. So yes, I can be judgmental, but it is more of an inward thing than an outward expression – IS THIS MAKING ANY SENSE?

Do you work better with actual lists or with mental lists?

(Credit to Sadje of Keep it Alive)

to do list1.jpgOooh…nowadays, I don’t feel I can rely entirely on my memory. I do write things down, mainly in my diary and often on post-it notes. In fact I will admit, if I don’t write it down, I am likely to forget.

That includes tasks I must carry out and shopping lists. I find that without a shopping list, I can spend too much money on silly things when I do my food shopping.

Would you go streaking across a football field during a game for a million pounds, knowing there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll get arrested for indecent exposure?

unzippingNo! Simply because my nakedness is not “up-for-sale”. No, no no! It is a gift for the man I love, who happens to be Goldfinch.

I don’t even feel comfortable in a bikini. I hated going on holiday and being around the pool where some people seemed to be ogling at us. I love swimming, but I prefer to swim in a proper swimsuit.

To me, revealing what is underneath my clothes is kind of a big deal, and I only want to do that in front of the man I love.


What has happened in your life that made you feel uplifted and happy, if only temporarily?

changeGood things have happened – some of them I am going to wait to tell you. But they are very good. And I am glad, because I could be overcome with sadness after having to leave Goldfinch and come back to England. But I have had a few very pleasant surprises since I returned to London, which means changes are ahead, good changes.

Be sure, I will write about it when I have settled down a bit. So much has happened so quickly. But things are looking up!


10 thoughts on “For Your Eyes Only”

    1. I don’t know hoe prudish I was before, but since what happened to me four years ago I am mighty prudish now, except with Goldfinch. But it was a huge deal to take my clothes off in front of a man. Now I feel comfortable. But there is no way I would let Joe Public see me in my birthday suit.


  1. Glad to have you back, Mel! Though I think you would rather be in Australia still. Very sensible answers. Weighing all the pros and cons and then making a good decision, that’s your style.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “It is more of an inward thing than an outward expression” – interesting that you say that, because in my post related to this question I said that I judge on a regular basis, but as long as it’s “inside my head voice” rather than “outside my head voice” it’s not a problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s an interesting question that you asked. I think it would be a very rare circumstance that I would actually say out loud that I objected to something. I would usually just remove myself. Although, I have asked people to tone down their language on public transport and in restaurants.

      But I think you are right, most of the time it is inside my head. It does effect how close I will get to someone though.

      Liked by 1 person

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