I remember walking with him hand in hand, sauntering at a gentle pace through the woods down near where I live, just a week or so after I met him. I think I was at risk of frightening him after that first weekend by throwing a few too many curve-ball questions at him. I was just eager to get to know him. I think I already knew beholding this fine specimen of a male of the species in all his splendour, there was a huge possibility I was going to fall very much in love.
The first night I met Goldfinch, he told me he was only here in England on a temporary basis. I probably didn’t need to launch to many intrusive questions at him so early on.
He was very good with me. He told me a lot more than I had any right to ask so early on. But he did remind me that he would only be in England for a short time. I remember telling him sweetly I knew…and not to worry, I was still eager to make the most of the time he was here. He looked unconvinced. I kissed his hand serenely and said “You and I – it’s not complicated, it’s not going to be complicated, it’s going to be lovely.”
I hope that’s what it has been for him. Much as I would be bowled over and flattered beyond belief if he gave the slightest inkling that he would stay here in England longer for my sake, it’s not going to happen and I would not dream of pressuring him. His parents and siblings are on the other side of the planet, his house is there, his closest friends are there. It is his home. I am nothing compared to what he is going back to.
I can’t help it if I miss him can I?