Just To Be Held Close For A While

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Any other time, I might have been able to contemplate the subject of “soul mates” and write about it. But you find me at a bit of disadvantage this week.

I had two dates with a really nice man within the space of a week. He ticks all the boxes. He bought me gifts. He has been kind, courteous, all the lovely manners you hope for in a man. He seems down to earth, hard-working (been in the same job for twenty years!) faithful, honest, sensible…he is a really nice man.

Yet after I said goodbye to him after our second date, I walked home in tears. It was a beautifully sunny day and the sky was blue. I looked up at planes stretching across the sky leaving white chemtrails and wished that I was on one of them. I wish I could walk to my local underground station and swipe my Oyster card and board a train that would take me to Adelaide, Australia. I wish it would take me to exactly where Goldfinch is.

I just need him to hold me close for a while, maybe just a few minutes, maybe a few hours, I don’t know, but just long enough to make it all better. And then…because I know there is a lot that he needs to be getting on with, I would board the train again and return to London until next time.

I really don’t know what to say about the subject of soul mates…

…all I know, is that I feel there is only one person who I want to hold me tight and make everything better.

Maybe another time I would have something more interesting to say on the subject of “soul mates”.

But this week, I am just grieving the loss of someone who has made me love him with my whole heart, my whole mind, my whole soul…and who is now not here. Yet…he still has my mind, heart and soul.

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Do you have more to say on the subject of “soul mates” than I do? Please feel free to write a post and link it to Sarah Elizabeth Moore’s original writing prompt post:

Writing Prompt #6

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11 thoughts on “Just To Be Held Close For A While

  1. Either you and Goldfinch have to find a way to make a life together, or you need to move on. Life is too short to lament. You are missing out on some wonderful life experiences. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to experience all life has to offer. Go out there and start living life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jeanne,
      After what happened this past week, I have realized I am not ready yet…I was physically sick with that other man looking at me and flirting with me. So I do need to let more time pass, because this week I realized I am not ready yet.
      I certainly will keep busy with other things, but until I can go on a date without throwing up, I think it’s fair to postpone thinking of anyone else.
      I have accepted he is there and I am here…that will not change. But what he has left me with will mean we have a special connection for the rest of my life.
      It’s nice to have his advice on my decisions and I will always be concerned he is happy with the way I am handling everything.
      I am a mix of celebrating him, and coming to terms with how much I miss him. I think I just tried too hard to do something I wasn’t really ready for just to make friends feel better. But lesson learnt…I will have to go at my own pace.

      Liked by 1 person

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