Guilt And Coffee

So what is happening this weekend that Caramel might be writing about at a later date?

The coffee-date with the friend of a friend – that is happening this weekend. By the time you read this post, it will already have happened. I am not really ready for it. I have been very emotional the past few days. Which is partly very natural because I work very long hours Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

All sorts of unhelpful thoughts traipse through my mind at times about the future.  I have felt safe here for the past two years. Things will change though. I have to be prepared that I may not have the comforts I do now.

But it is also my feelings about Goldfinch and my feelings about the little blueberry I am responsible for seven weeks after Goldfinch parted. I do feel a sense of guilt about going on a coffee-date, but I have been open with Goldfinch, and I am sure he is more than happy with me.

I don’t actually have any enthusiasm for coffee-dates with other men. But this man seems very lovely, and I am going to go along and hopefully just have a real good chatter. How open I will be about my situation, I don’t know yet, But I will have to at some point.

I will let myself settle a bit before I write a post about how the coffee-date went. But right now, before I go, I will admit, I am finding it hard to see anything past Goldfinch…and the little blueberry.