No Income Tax, No VAT… No Money Back, No Guarantee

Jim, aka Newepicauthor, the creator of A Unique Title For Me is hosting SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY and has chosen to give us the themes in advance.

So today’s theme is: NO as you can see from his post below:

Well…I have had all week to think of a song on the theme: NO. There are a lot of songs with the word no. Having a whole week to think of a song threw me, because every song I thought of I rejected, thinking other bloggers would choose the same song. Although doubling up is perfectly fine, there is always a little bit of excitement from coming up with a song that other bloggers may not have thought of. I think a lot of British bloggers will instantly recognize the song I have chosen for my SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY post, but I am curious as to how well known it is by overseas bloggers.

For some strange reason earlier this week, I started to hum a tune the theme tune to the iconic sitcom “Only Fools And Horses”. The words:

“No income tax, no V.A.T.,

No money back, no guarantee”

…from the closing credits came into my head, and I settled on this for my choice.

This should be a very fun theme for SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY! Looking forward to seeing your posts.


Stick a pony in me pocket

I’ll fetch the suitcase from the van.

Cos if you want the best ‘uns,

But you don’t ask questions,

Then brother, I’m your man.

Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,

It’s like the changin’ of the seasons,

And the tides of the sea.

But here’s the one that’s drivin’ me beserk,

Why do only fools and horses work?

La-la-la La-lala-la La-la-la La-lala-la.


We’ve got some half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles,

T.V.s, deep freeze and David Bowie L.P.s,

Ball games, gold chains, whats’names, pictures frames and leather goods,

And Trevor Francis track suits from a mush in Shepherds Bush,

Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush …

No income tax, no V.A.T.,

No money back, no guarantee,

Black or white, rich or poor,

We’ll cut prices at a stroke……

God bless Hooky Street,

Viva Hooky Street,

Long live Hooky Street,

C’est magnifique, Hooky Street,

Magnifique, Hooky Street,

Hooky Street (to fade)


Written and performed by John Sullivan