One Year Ago

This time last year, something wonderful happened. Monday 15th January 2018 is a day I will never forget.

Five weeks previously, Goldfinch had flown out to Australia to be with his nearest and dearest during the holidays. He had not told me exactly when he was flying back. But he had mentioned he would be away for around five weeks. He had said that his flight was due to arrive mid-afternoon, so he would not have chance to visit me because he had to travel straight back to Coventry so he could be at work the next day. And I thought he said at some stage that it would be a Monday. So I looked at flights landing at Heathrow on the Monday afternoon five weeks after he travelled to Australia. I booked the afternoon off work. I made other preparations to surprise him…I will tell you about that another time perhaps.

Those five weeks felt like forever.  Even though I had many happy occasions with friends and family during those weeks, I had this aching gnawing fondness for my new love.  I was quite literally pining for him.  I wanted to drop hints in my e-mails hoping he would confirm the exact flight he would be travelling on when his five weeks vacation was over.

JournalThere was so much that I wanted to share with him!  So I kept a journal for him.  I knew he would want to spend “quality time” with his family and friends back home.  I did not want to encroach on that, but I wanted to involve him in every single day.  I knew we did not really know a lot about each other at that point.  There were so many questions I wanted to ask him.  (It is sometimes easier to mine copper than find out all you want to know about the man you love!)  I recorded in the journal all sorts about what was happening in my London life.  I also told him details about my family and friends.  I gave him an idea of what had led to my current temporary situation.

OGoldfingern the day I had calculated as his return…I had booked the afternoon off work.  I was so eager to be at the airport waiting for him to arrive.  I had made a sign.  I really should explain it…please don’t jump to any conclusions.  I had been teasing him.  I had given him a nick-name.  Yes, I know!  For the first few weeks I called him Goldfinger and not Goldfinch.  I was teasing him. There was a huge attraction on my part to him and he was being a typical man and emanating a bit of a mysteriousness.  It is so annoying you know!  You want to know everything about your new love.  You know there will be layers there you don’t really like.  But you accept that a grown man will have his regrets.  So when a man is cautious in what he reveals of himself, it can be a little frustrating.

I teased him…about the James Bondness of his behaviour.  He is not the only man I know who does that.  I kind of understand.  It is wise to be a bit coy and cautious when you meet someone totally new.  So for weeks I had called him Goldfinger in texts and e-mails and when I had seen him.

Goldfinger Image(Just a quick note:  I have never watched a James Bond film…he is exactly the type of man I would prefer to avoid like the plague!  I do not approve.  My Dad would be mortified to think of any of his girls being seduced by a James Bond type of sleezoid.  But I do know some of the songs from Karaoke including the huge Shirley Bassey number.  It is rather annoying that such great numbers are associated with a womanising skunky pimple of a character – I know I will be offending all James Bond fans here – but you do see why I have a problem with men who flit from woman to woman more frequently than they change their socks???  With last year being the year of the woman and all, surely I am allowed to express my revulsion of this. )

So I stood there at Terminal 2 Arrivals with my sign.  I received quite a lot of attention.  People took photos of me holding it and asked who I was waiting for.  One group came over to me and said my sign was “way cool!”  I stood there holding the sign for two whole hours.

couples reunitingTwo hours waiting for him to appear were harder to endure than his five weeks absence!  I certainly did start to wonder if I had got it very wrong.  Perhaps he was not going to be coming back at that time at all.  He could have changed his flight.  Anything could have happened.  Before my eyes, other families and lovers were re-united and I ached to see my Goldfinch again.  But he did not appear.  I started to feel like a bit of a wally in all honesty!  Slowly, discouragement and disappointment crept up into my heart.  I had obviously got it wrong.

But I was rooted to the spot…with my snazzy sign.  Suddenly, I felt a wave of determination wash over me.  I decided I would wait for the rest of the day.  If he had not walked through those doors by 8pm, then I would head back to my little abode and admit defeat.

love heartThen, almost as if it was a miracle…he was there…it was him…it was really truly him!!!  Almost immediately he saw me…and then he saw my sign!  Oh boy did I receive a gigantic bear hug from my lovely Goldfinch.  All the agony of waiting melted away….and now I felt as proud as Punch walking through the terminal hand in hand with the man I was in love with.  The reward of enormous satisfaction and celebration rippled through me and walked with an ecstatic spring in my step.

He was genuinely surprised!  That was not the only surprise I had in store for him that evening.  However, this post is already a bit too long isn’t it.  I don’t want to annoy you.

couple dancing.pngI will just share one more scene from later that evening.  Shortly before I let go of him so he could go back to his accommodation…he and I were dancing, you know slow-dancing, at a bus station in the middle of the city where he lives.  A man, a complete stranger walked past and remarked how wonderful it was to see a couple so in love.  I can’t speak for Goldfinch, because men despite being wonderful, always give the slight impression they are going to vanish in a James Bond style.  But as for me, I was so glad, so deeply grateful that those agonizing five weeks were over…I wanted to cling to my Goldfinch with all my might.

9 thoughts on “One Year Ago

    1. Goldfinch did seem to think we would visit each other. But that won’t be for a very long time.
      I feel very pessimistic about whether I will see him again. My head is such a problem. I am afraid I have said goodbye forever. But at least it means he can get on with his life.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I have thought about it a lot, and talked about it with Goldfinch.
          My head is still causing major concerns. I am trying to lead a full and purposeful life. Goldfinch has given me a wonderful wonderful year. But I have tribulation ahead and I don’t want him to have to deal with that. I have a wonderful supportive family as well as friends who are my network that rely on.

          I want Goldfinch to live, to live life to the full and he has the potential for so much more happiness in Australia, close to his nearest and dearest.

          https://crushedcaramel.wordpress.com/2018/11/21/i-dont-want-to-miss-a-thing/

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Aaaaaw thank you Jay-lyn.
      Goldfinch has been a huge bonus and blessing to my life. I know I am writing about sad things – but it makes me happy even writing about sad things. You probably understand that.

      As the song goes…”I even feel glad just to be sad thinking of you”

      Like

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