When I saw the writing prompt from Laura M Bailey, the creator of All The Shoes I Wear I started thinking of all the text messages I have received this weekend while I have been poorly sick. Her theme this week is: IMPERFECTION.
Well meaning friends have been trying to cheer me and distract me about the departure of Goldfinch by talking of a brand new relationship ahead for me. They talk of all the possibilities. They are a lot more excited than I am.
Although I have never ruled out the possibility of a future romance, it will be well into the future and not the present.
The picture above that Laura included in her writing prompt made me think of our family dining table. Seven children and two adults and guest s had knocked and scraped that table. Some of us had made carvings into the wood. The table had to be repaired several times over the years. But what memories we had around that table.
A shiny brand new table, no matter how nice, would not be the same. It would have taken a long time to relax around a new table and truly make it part of the family.
I love every mark, every scar, every dimple, every wrinkle, every inch of Goldfinch. He has a beautiful birthmark on his back. I love it.
I absolutely love that he snores. I love it. I really really love it. I could easily go to sleep despite it wrapped up in his warm arms. I love that his feet are more ticklish than mine. I love that his hands are so much larger than mine, and always the perfect temperature. I love his eyes. I am going to miss his eyes so much.
There is nothing about him I would want to change.
I don’t have any desire to go out and start a brand new relationship with any man, no matter how nice they might be. My friends mean well. They are just trying to keep me cheery. But it is going to take a long time to feel ready.