He Has A Beautiful Birthmark On His Back

When I saw the writing prompt from Laura M Bailey, the creator of All The Shoes I Wear I started thinking of all the text messages I have received this weekend while I have been poorly sick. Her theme this week is: IMPERFECTION.

Well meaning friends have been trying to cheer me and distract me about the departure of Goldfinch by talking of a brand new relationship ahead for me. They talk of all the possibilities. They are a  lot more excited than I am.

Although I have never ruled out the possibility of a future romance, it will be well into the future and not the present.


The picture above that Laura included in her writing prompt made me think of our family dining table. Seven children and two adults and guest s had knocked and scraped that table. Some of us had made carvings into the wood. The table had to be repaired several times over the years. But what memories we had around that table.

A shiny brand new table, no matter how nice, would not be the same. It would have taken a long time to relax around a new table and truly make it part of the family.


I love every mark, every scar, every dimple, every wrinkle, every inch of Goldfinch. He has a beautiful birthmark on his back. I love it.

I absolutely love that he snores. I love it. I really really love it. I could easily go to sleep despite it wrapped up in his warm arms. I love that his feet are more ticklish than mine. I love that his hands are so much larger than mine, and always the perfect temperature. I love his eyes. I am going to miss his eyes so much.

There is nothing about him I would want to change.

I don’t have any desire to go out and start a brand new relationship with any man, no matter how nice they might be. My friends mean well. They are just trying to keep me cheery. But it is going to take a long time to feel ready.



25 thoughts on “He Has A Beautiful Birthmark On His Back”

        1. Goldfinch was only in the UK for work. When I met him, the project he was working on was scheduled to finish in Spring 2018. But he stayed right up until December.

          So I have had a lot longer than I thought with him. His life, his house, his parents and siblings are in Australia. He was always going back.
          I can’t uproot and go there. Due to my head injuries, I can’t just go. I need my family and friends who have been an enormous support to me especially since I was attacked.

          I do love him Novus. But I did not want to tie him down. He wanted to be in Australia. I did not want him to have to face the tribulation caused by my head injuries. This past year I have been in and out of hospital and it has just reinforced how much I don’t want him to have this burden. I want him to live without being shackled by moi. He loves life, I want him to be free. It’s essential to my happiness to know he is happy and free. He and I became deeply close and he knows he is loved.


            1. I don’t expect him to wait for me.
              I was kind of pessimistic when we said goodbye, but he kept saying that we may be together again. But I have made it clear to him, I want him to live.
              If he was not happy, I would take all sorts of risks for him. But I believe he can find great happiness over there. I will be so glad to hear of him falling in love and being happy. It will make me feel better about my decisions.


  1. Let no one tell you what you need to do. You take as long as you like to wallow and remember and hoard those memories. I say this because one day you are going to find yourself ready. You are going to start looking at men sideways when they catch your attention. For now though you do not need to move any faster than your heart is ready for. I am here. Hugs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤ Thank you so much Jay-lyn! ❤
      …I know that will happen one day, but I am not going to be rushed.
      While I am still so full up on love for Goldfinch, I am not in the right frame of mind to think of anyone else.


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