04 | Jan | 2019

Have you seen what Caramel’s angry eyes look like?

I use the term “angry eyes” because it makes me think of Mrs Potato Head packing essentials like a golf ball, a rubber-ducky, a plastic steak, a yo-yo, crayons, a dime, monkey chow, and of course the most important “angry eyes”!

I do not really have a pair of angry eyes. I am not often angry enough to throw those kind of expressions, and when I am angry inside, normally I do a very good job of hiding it from others.

But today I am angry. Super angry. Jack has said something in public (and unless the whole clip is doctored – I saw his lips moving and heard the words coming out of his mouth – so I am pretty sure nobody is misquoting him, it is all Jack’s responsibility) that included a rather cutting remark that I knew and all our friends would know, was about me.

Oh no!

Has Jack thought about how unwise and unkind his words were? Does he regret what he said? Was it a careless castaway comment that has been picked up by media and used in clips? I am sure he said other things. But its the personal comments that made it to the screen.

It came across that he was trying to deflect personal questions. But his comments made fun of two of his “fans” who at one stage seemed to be stalking him (although after everything that happened, I do wonder if Jack may have embellished the details of those incidents – I do know there is some truth in a couple of young ladies who were very persistent and did alarm Jack by the places they turned up and the bold declarations they made to him). I don’t think Jack should mention them. I would hope that both of them regret their behaviour now and would not repeat their actions. But I believe Jack made a mistake mentioning them in public.

However, I am downright furious that he referred to me. He did not mention my name. He did not need to. The first thing I knew about it was a handful of text messages which were carefully worded by close friends who basically did not want me to receive a nasty shock. For two years I have had the same experience many times of being warned about something that seemed to have originated with Jack (although sometimes it was hard to tell who had instigated the gossip) and was being circulated and was receiving “likes” and comments from all and sundry.

angry eyes2 Hmm.

I am still reeling. Jack’s words were in the media about three weeks ago…but I have been trying to shrug it all off ever since. But I am angry. I think I do a pretty good job of controlling my feelings though. I don’t find it hard for forgive…but if someone keeps on doing the same thing that has already caused so much damage and they give the impression they do not care, it is hard to feel goodwill.

Just going to be courageous and carry on with my life, without someone who seems to be rather deficient in courage casting a cloud over my sunshine.

What do you have to do with me? For my life is a wonderful one! Who do you you think you are Jack Barnes? Have you not learnt from your mistakes? Are you happy? If so, then please live your life. Make yourself useful. Be happy. Do not find fun in taunting others. That makes you look very small. Just live your life.

You have only reminded me of pain Jack. And yet, I still love you despite it all.