Days Like This

coffeeDays like this are why coffee was invented! This week has been intense so far and it is going to carry on right up until the moment I board the train to travel up to North Wales. I have been juggling so much this week – I am ready to drop, but I can’t, not yet! Just have to keep going.

I am living on espresso and carrot sticks this week and have not had chance to do any laundry or ironing in the little nest. My hair is being abused – I wash and blast with the hair-dryer and then tie it up in a great knot.

Work is busy – crazy busy. I am doing extras to help my landlady prepare for the holidays. It’s dark just after 3pm each day. I feel as if I have not seen daylight for a week!

I miss Goldfinch so very much and there is always a heavy weight tugging on my heart and a lump in my throat. But I am so busy, I only have chance for a few tears when I am in bed. I am so tired though, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. And then less than ten seconds later, it seems to be morning again because my alarm is ringing!

I am so looking forward to my time off work next week and being with my family. Mumma did always say there’d be days like this:

Wish You Were Here

Time has flown by in many ways this month. Being busy means that time has not dragged. In a few days I will be with my family in North Wales…and then Cheshire.

However…time has been strange with regards to Goldfinch. I can still picture him wrapped up in my big snuggly robe after a shower. I am still warmed by his embrace. I still find comfort in the warmth of his hand caressing my hand. Yet…time is cruel, for it feels like many months I have been without him. The time has dragged in that respect. I miss him. I miss his text messages which always excited my day.

I wish he was here. I wish he were near. However, I don’t begrudge him enjoying Australian summertime one bit. I want him to be happy.

I know it is different…

…in the musical “Phantom Of The Opera” Christine is singing this song to her beloved father when she visits the graveyard where he is buried.

However, I have been singing these words about Goldfinch:

Wishing you were somehow here again

Wishing you were somehow near

Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed

Somehow you would be here”

 

Peanut-Butter Cookies (That’s The Way The Cookie Crumbled)

cookiesSo…I was on my way out to meet some friends. I had just baked some huge peanut butter cookies. A batch of twenty. Jack would be in for the evening as he had brought some work home. He came into the kitchen before I left. He was very enthusiastic about the aroma of the cookies I had just pulled out of the oven. I said “help yourself”. He gave me a huge grin.

When I returned to the apartment, I felt I had to sneak into my room and wait for a while before I went into the kitchen to make a drink. Once I entered the kitchen, I made more noise clattering than necessary, so that Jack knew I was home – just in case he wanted to come and see me. I realized I could hear his television so maybe he had not heard me.  Did that mean he had finished all his work?  Would he want to come and see me?

white jarIt took a few minutes before I noticed that the cooling rack was empty. I paused for a moment and it occurred to me that maybe he had put the cooled cookies into the jar I had left out on one of the counters. A minute or so later I opened the spring lid to check – empty. I carried on with a little tidying in the hope that he would be thirsty or hungry and would come into the kitchen. Then the thought popped into my mind that asking him about the cookies was a perfectly valid reason for me to disturb his peace while he was trying to work (because I was longing to see him and have contact with him.) I was hesitant though. I didn’t want to be annoying to him at all. I just wanted him to come and play – in a very affectionate way because that is how I had felt for him for some time.  I loved it when we threw teasing and banter at each other.

washing upI was overjoyed when Jack came into the kitchen while I was washing up dishes (a glass of mine and several items that he had left in the sink). He rushed in and stopped himself suddenly. I turned to greet him while still washing up. He surprised me by placing himself within an inch of me, whilst he reached to the cupboard above my head for a glass. My reaction was to immediately jump back and apologize for being in his way (but a moment later I wished I stayed there to allow our bodies to have been against each other.)

I wanted so much for us to speak with each other (ideally curled up on the sofa together but we were still so nervous and awkward with each other.) I remembered the cookies.

I asked him if he had tried one. (If only I had not said “one”.)

Jack enthusiastically said that they were the best cookies he had ever tasted. (If only I hadn’t picked up on the word (they”).

I smiled and asked where he had put the rest of the cookies. (If only I hadn’t asked that question).

He seemed uneasy. His response with a slightly strained voice was to say he thought they were for him. (If only I had not let the realization he had eaten twenty giant cookies show on my face).

Yes, I am going to admit, every time he walked into the flat, I had been working on something just for him (and his guests of course, who all loved the sweet treats I had been churning out).

I was hesitant to reply because I knew that since I discovered Jack’s sweet tooth I had dramatically increased the frequency of my baking anything I thought he would enjoy, so in a way yes I baked every cookie thinking of him – but to eat all twenty in one evening? giant cookies!  Was I allowed to say to him “yes, of course they were all for you”? I was concerned he would freak out if he had any idea how strong my feelings for him were.

I smiled and said “don’t worry, it’s fine.”

He snapped and repeated I had said they were for him.

I looked at Jack and slowly but mildly replied that I thought I had said he could help himself.

His smile had disappeared but now he began to look annoyed. He rolled his eyes and then turned away. Then he turned back sharply and snapped “what am I supposed to do about it now?”

I was anxious (the cookies had all been for him – yes, and all because of the way I felt about him).

“Please don’t worry. It doesn’t matter.” I almost whispered.

“It obviously does matter or you wouldn’t be making such a big deal about it!”

love heartI was paralysed for a moment. I didn’t realize I was making such a big deal. But Jack seemed so upset, his face had crimsoned and his voice was raised. How could this conversation be going so badly when I just adored him? And I had been baking cookies thinking of him. And while I was out with my friends, he kept coming back into my mind. But here we were within a meter of each other and I seemed to have hurt him and that struck hurt into my heart.

I just had no idea what to say. I was shaking slightly. I asked if we could just forget it and said they were only cookies and I really really was not bothered.

Jack shook his head and sighed.

I wanted to reach out my hand to touch his arm and say “please”. (If only I had.)

I moved away to return to the sink. He stood there. I had no idea why. I didn’t know what to say. I asked him how his evening had been.

He emphatically pronounced the word “fine”. And returned the question to me with the same tone of voice.

I was pained. I tried to maintain a casual voice so he couldn’t see my pain and said “yeah, it was fine, we had a really good catch up.” (I had been too scared to tell my friends that I was actually in love with Jack but had no idea how he felt for me. My friends had been teasing me about the situation with Jack for months and they would have been shocked if the really knew how I felt.)

clean dishes stacked neatlyWe didn’t say a single word to each other for the next few minutes. I finished washing and then drying the dishes aware that he still stood a couple of metres behind me. I stacked his dishes up neatly so that he could decide where to put them next. As I finished, Jack said to me “you don’t have to wash my dishes you know”.

(I loved washing his dishes for him.) I said “don’t worry, I needed to wash my own and thought I may as well wash yours at the same time.” I wondered if he was annoyed with me or was just acknowledging his thanks although still stinging about the cookies.

I looked at him before I left the room and gave him the kind of quick smile, which was in essence a shrug of my shoulders, because I didn’t know how to fix what had just happened. I walked out of the kitchen. As I reached my door I turned around and I could see him standing outside the kitchen door looking at me.  I paused as I wondered if I should say something, or if he wanted to say something.  Feeling like a fool, I disappeared into my room.  I heard him open the door to his room a few seconds later.  I thought I could detect the volume of his television increase.

woman cryingOn entering my own room and closing the door, I sat down at my desk and put my hands to my face and let myself shed a few tears.

We didn’t seem to understand each other. We didn’t seem to know how to communicate. I had no idea how Jack felt about me any more.  It was not that long before that he had told me he loved me. I found that hard to believe. He was so horrid at times. Sometimes I thought he was trying to flirt with me but he was just really really bad at flirting.  I couldn’t tell.  Jack had been so so wonderful right up until the night someone asked me in front of him if I was seeing another friend who had taken me out a few times?  I had made light of it because that friend and I had not shown any physical affection for each other – we were just so well-matched when we wanted to laugh so it was great fun to go out for a drink with him.  But hearing that question – had he changed his view?  Was there a little jealousy or sense of feeling humiliated on his part?  I wish I wish I knew. Was it jealousy that prompted his behaviour towards me? I was always with single men. I was one of ten single women between the age of 25 and 35 living and working in the same proximity as almost 400 single men. I suspect he was not aware of his own feelings because his moods and his manners were so unreliable and tumultuous.

I just knew my feelings for him had taken me from elation to misery within a few minutes’ conversation.Hug.jpg

All we needed to do was this:

But that did not happen.

That was just one isolated incident but time and again there were occasions when it seemed we were both frustrated. It was as if we were speaking entirely different languages.

I think the lesson learned was that I had let my feelings race way ahead. That night he had told me he loved me…my feelings started to race out of control. And I fell for a man who seemed to know very little about his own feelings or how to control them.  And it hurt – a lot!  I believe that until my last breath I will remember him with regret.  He torments me everyday though I have been too afraid to go near him for these past three years.

I still can’t get over him eating twenty giant peanut butter cookies within four hours…I would be sick.  Still….they were for Jack really.

Screenshot_2018-04-30-22-29-26-1

If you are wondering who Jack is… these long posts will explain more:

Rory Has Nominated Me For The Mystery Blogger Award

I have received a nomination for an award that I have not received before…

supernova

…and my nomination came from our wonderful Rory, the creator of A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! Mystery hey? I have never thought of myself as a mystery. Men are a mystery. I blame testosterone… it makes them utterly erratic. I am a northern girl – what you see is what you get, and if you don’t get it – I can explain it in very direct terms to you – say it as it is!

What is the Mystery Award?

“Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers (blush) with ingenious posts (me – ingenious? that’s a bit far-fetched!). Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates (I’d love to know what Rory finds captivating about my blog!). They are one of the best out there (oh my!), and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion. – Okoto Enigma

Rules

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog
  2. List the rules
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog – THANK YOU RORY!
  4. Answer the questions from the blogger who nominated you
  5. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  6. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  7. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
  8. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  9. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  10. Share a link to your best post(s)

5 Questions From Rory

Tick or Tock, which is best that describes your personality and why?

Hmm…I had to give this a lot of thought. I don’t know right now. It is my nature to be a supporter, I like to follow a leader, and I work hard to support them. But I often found myself on my own dealing with projects and expected to train and motivate a team.

So although, I would prefer to be a TOCK…I have often been placed in the role of a TICK and have had to thrive for the success of the project.

But ultimately I am happy to be a little cog doing my bit to make the charities I work with achieve enormous results. I would like to think I would be willing to take on any assignment, to be sent absolutely anywhere in the world there was a need for my skills and be willing to work with anyone.

With regards Passion Fashion and Fabric which is your go to for 199% comfort – Rubber, Silk, Canvas, Pollycotton, Linen, Jersey, Crepe, Lycra, Lace, Velvet or simply all bare – and why?

blue laceOoooh Rory!

I am going to answer this question with dignity, imagining my Dadda was reading this post. That means no photos of me in any item of Passion Fashion. For Goldfinch’s eyes only.

So when it comes to items of Passion Fashion – I am told by Goldfinch that all bare is what men prefer. I have occasionally donned items to surprise my significant other, and I have chosen items that were not overly tacky. I am a princess after all. Looking at the modest collection of items in my Passion Fashion wardrobe – lace seems to be the most distinctive fabric. You will have to use your imagination.

I think sex is very special, and as much as it can be fun and exciting, I don’t want it to be cheap and trashy. I have had a really really awful experience the night I was the victim to a crime, and now more than ever, I like it to be romantic and beautiful, as well as exciting and fun. It is important to feel loved and treasured. In fact I could become very provoked on how I feel about the trashy view of sex that is promoted in entertainment and on the internet. If anything led the man in the park to do what he did, I bet it was feeding his own mind on an unhealthy and degraded view of sex. Sex should be a beautiful gift.

What happened to me that night in the park was the total opposite…so now, if anything reminds me of that night, I recoil in horror. Goldfinch never once triggered a flashback to that night, even though physical intimacy was a major factor in a relationship for him. He has always made me feel very special in that context, but seemed to be enjoying himself. I would like to think, we were able to satisfy and reward each other’s desires. I know I have loved every moment I have spent with him. It’s hard to imagine intimacy with anyone else.

What is the routine you undertake each day when you log into WordPress before you start to create a post?

  • Click that little bell sign in the top right corner to look at the notifications: comments, likes, follows etc and then try to answer any comments.
  • Click onto WP Reader and look through the posts of other readers
  • Check out the writing prompts and see if I have any ideas for posts

One thing I have stopped doing is checking my statistics – it can be a bit depressing at times – why suck all the joy out of this by focusing on statistics and numbers?

What is your best time of the day – night, morning, afternoon, dusk or dawn and why, what makes it special for you?

I like bedtime…when I have finished all my work for the day and I can start to get ready for bed.

I love to slip into my wonderfully comfortable bed and rest my head on the pillows. It is a special time of day for me because I talk to someone I am sure is rooting for me and wants me to live.

There is something very special about expressing my thanks for all the delights I enjoyed that day and just that I was alive for another day. I ask for help to make decisions that make Him happy with me. I like to ask that my loved ones will be happy and that they receive support to deal with any challenges that come their way. I ask for Goldfinch to be happy too and to make wise decisions and have great joy in his life. I also ask for a universe at peace, and ask that once the issue of rulership has been settled in a way that noone will ever challenge it again, that all the wrongs that have been committed are eventually put right and all the damage undone. I ask for strength to endure the current state of the world under human rulers and for strength to do what is right, fix any wrongs I have done and not to give in to weaknesses. I ask for help to see where I am not doing what is good, because I know I make mistakes without even realizing what I am doing is wrong.

I feel a tremendous peace and happiness during the very last conversation I have each day. It’s as if a weight is lifted far away from me. It is something incredibly special.

annie bed2Then I close my eyes and within seconds I am far away. I love falling into sweet sleep. It is wonderful to me to be allowed to be horizontal and allowed to drift into sleep. I have resisted the urge all day. I have stayed awake and carried on working. Aaaaah – now it’s my time for sleep!

It’s just the morning pain that wakes me is the biggest challenge of each day for me.

What is an ideal Christmas day for you and your family if relevant?

Ideally we would all have a day off work and be together, but that is very rare. For years I have worked during the holidays because I have been working in healthcare and that requires staff 24-7-12-365! My oldest sister is a nurse. My brother is a Doctor.

Mumma was a nurse (though she has now retired) and always worked on the bank holidays.  She could get either double or triple pay on bank holidays. Dad was a window-cleaner, and so it made sense for him to take time off during the winter holidays when the weather was rotten. So it was up to Dad to keep us busy and active rather than us wasting two weeks by staying in our pyjamas and watching movies.

There were a lot of older ones we knew who might be alone over the holidays, so Dad would often take us to visit some of those he knew would be alone. At the time, I don’t think we understood how much it meant to some of them to have my Dad turn up with his young crew who invaded their home for a couple of hours before he took us elsewhere. We thought it was great because we were fed cake and pie and chocolates everywhere we went. So we were well up for it. We chatted away to our hosts who apparently would have spent the holidays on their own. Dad couldn’t bear to think of older ones without any family being all alone. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement – I think. I don’t know if it was odd. But I do know we were a very popular little crew.

On days when we were all together we would visit my grandparents. But this year we lost the last of my grandparents. So it is now our immediate family and the many in-laws. Because of the numbers involved…we are splitting up. I am going to stay with Milly and her husband’s family. My parents will go to stay with Mandy and spend time with her husband’s family. But we are all meeting up on Thursday 27th December for a walk. There may be anywhere between 100-200 of us. It all depends on the weather as to whether some will want to travel to our rendezvous which is a location between North Wales and Lancashire.

This year I will be off from December 24th right through to the following Monday. I am so so thrilled to have almost a whole week off. I think it might be the first time for over fifteen years. I will be in Wales for most of that time, but will be seeing all of my direct family and a lot of the in-laws.

Three Things About Myself

  • There seems to be a gap of around ten years in my memory since my head injuries. I remember my childhood and teens in vivid detail. But after that my memories are very lacey – full of holes. It has upset a lot of people that I cannot remember my connection with them. The memories that dominate are those centered around Jack and my world here in London. I seem fairly sharp generally, but the memory gaps have caused a few issues. My memory is more lacey than my underwear! But I have some very pretty memories. I don’t know whether what is missing is important. maybe there is a reason my brain seems to have discarded or blocked those memories. I have no idea.
  • I don’t do debt – credit cards, loans, mortgages, it’s something I would avoid like the plague. I am happy to save money little by little and be thrifty.
  • I have Punjabi in-laws. They are mainly Sikh. They are a lot of fun, their music, dancing, clothes and food have been fascinating for my family. My mum spent several years having Punjabi lessons so she could speak in the language many of our in-laws seem most comfortable with. I have lots of friends from India, Sri Lanka and Pakistan. I have taught some of the girls to swim, although they had never been in a swimming pool before I started teaching them.

My Best Post

I have mentioned my poem before, (the only poem I feel proud of) but here is the link for anyone who has not seen my own favourite post:

River

Another one of my own personal favourites was about a lesson in life my Mumma taught me:

Kid In The Kitchen

My Five Questions For My Nominees

  1. Are there any events, experiences or people that you would either like to remember with clearer detail…or else completely eradicate from your memory?
  2. If you start to become stressed or anxious, is there something that you do to quiet down your worries?
  3. Do you have a favourite scent, perfume or cologne?
  4. Have you or one of your family had to overcome an enormous challenge in your life?
  5. Do you sing out loud when you are on your own? Or even when you have company?

My Ten Nominees:

 

Wild Thing… I Think I Love You!

For several days after Goldfinch flew away, my sadness was manifest by weepy moments and leaky eye episodes. But this week, it has been harder. Now…my emotions are becoming wildly unpredictable! They can swing one way or another within a few seconds! The reality is sinking in.

I could not sleep last night – which is very very unlike me. I sleep like a log. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Last night I was sobbing and so distraught I was still awake at four o’clock in the morning, so in the end I had to get myself up and make myself some honey soya milk and eat some of the chocolate Goldfinch gave me before he left. I haven’t eaten properly since the weekend. I ate all the leftovers I had from cooking and baking for Goldfinch last week and then when I ran out of food, I was too gloomy to go food shopping. So this week I have been eating carrot sticks and drinking coffee.

I was chatting with my parents and they want me to eat properly, but said at least they know I will be eating well next week when I am with my family. Mum said it is normal and natural to lose your appetite when you are down-hearted. Dad said it sounds like I have all the symptoms of being love-sick. They told me to keep an eye on myself ,and keep talking about how I feel, so that others can be supportive, and my sadness does not become extreme.

I bought posh bread (as in three times the price of the bread in the super-market and a very strange shape and full of holes) tonight from one of the five artisan bakeries which are now on the high street round the corner from the little nest. It smells delicious. I am going to have some for breakfast tomorrow – it’s much too late to eat now.

I worked from 8am – 5pm  (cooking for a client) and then this evening I went to help out on a project I am regularly involved in – so much work to do there! I was rushed off my feet. I was tired, and, as I have come to realize, that is when I’m at my weakest. I started to cry. Tears pouring down my face.

bvlgariJust then I felt a little vibration against my hip…I pulled out the little Nokia phone I have, and it was a message from Goldfinch!!!! It felt like a little miracle! A message all the way from Adelaide when I needed him the most! He was on his way to an interview and he was wearing the after shave I gave him!

That scent is so gorgeous – I can smell it now…there is a faint residue on the robe I always lent to Goldfinch when he came here to the little nest. I was even thinking of buying a small bottle just so that I can breathe in the scent of him when I miss him.

Suddenly the clouds broke and warm golden sunshine, Adelaide sunshine all the way from Australia, sent by Goldfinch himself, poured into my heart!

I have realized that I have a lot of this to come…I think they call it “mood swings”!!! One moment I am sobbing, the next moment, my heart is singing and I am excitedly telling everyone about what Goldfinch is up to.

My emotions are going to be a bit wild and unruly for a while I feel. Being with family next week will be a great help. But every time I hear from Goldfinch my heart is going to sing! I think I love him!

You Can Have As Many As You Like…If You Answer The Following Questions

There are already two batches of peanut-butter brownie slices cooling before I wrap them up in foil. I am going to use them as bait for the three bloggers I have tagged to carry on the Question-And-Answer series, which I believe started with Winnie! Winnie tagged me and Sadje. Sadje tagged Dr Tanya, who went onto tag me…well, now I have been tagged twice, I am going to crack on with my post before it is too late!

Rules

1. Answer the questions you receive (straight, funny, absurd, up to you)

2. Create three questions of your own for those that you tag to answer

3. Tag three people

Winnie’s Questions

1. What’s your favourite Christmas movie?

Almost every year at some point during the holiday season, the BBC, or another television channel, will broadcast the one film that can guarantee our entire family sitting still for almost three hours! I don’t know of any other film that can do that.

2. What’s your favourite Christmas tradition?

It’s not actually a Christmas tradition at all, but I love that we will still have a pyjama day at some point. Just one…Dad only ever let us have one day staying in our pyjamas, grabbing our blankets and being wrapped up on the sofa watching movies and eating treats. I would feel guilty if I stayed in my pyjamas any other day. My parents have trained us to be active. But that one day is allowed – my Dadda always said so.

This year I am going to be at my sister Milly’s home for a few days before I head to my parents’ home. I think the pyjama day will probably be with my sister and my twenty month old niece before we head to my brother-in-law’s family during the late afternoon.

3. What was your most memorable Christmas and why?

My mother’s parents were married on 22nd December. My Grandad always said he picked that date because it is one of the longest nights of the year.

I remember the year we had their ruby wedding anniversary party after forty years of marriage. I was a child at the time. Probably around 8 or 9 years of age. It was the last time every member of our family were all together during the holidays and everyone was well and happy. The feast was scrumdiddleyumptious!

It was not too long after that that Grandmother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and my uncle and his family moved to live overseas. Some of my older siblings moved overseas. We have never all been together since their fortieth wedding anniversary. My Grandmother died around ten years ago…and we lost my Grandfather this year.

Sadje’s questions

1.Which is the most fun vacation you have had?

I feel as if our whole trip to the North of Sweden was fun from start to finish – truly the holiday of a life time! Although we had no idea how much fun we were going to have. We just flew out there to visit a friend named Jan (pronounced Yan) without having any idea what he had in store for us.

We did so many things that we had never dreamed of. Our friend Jan surprised us every day with something special. I have never had a holiday quite like it.

We went husky sledging up a mountain and warmed our cockles in a hotel at the top which had no electricity, but a huge open fire.

We went go-carting on a frozen lake in Northern Sweden…I ended up skidding way off the track and then driving the wrong way round the track. I just spent the whole time laughing and screaming.

The snow-mobiles our friends took us on in the middle of the night in Northern Sweden – WOW! At midnight he told us we were going to go and empty the bins.  He told us to all get dressed in our ski wear.  We all traipsed outside and stood in the middle of the snow waiting for Jan who had disappeared when suddenly a mighty roar erupted and bright lights. Jan’s friends appeared on their snow mobiles and gave us two hours of the most fun I have ever had in the snow.  The mountain was empty of tourists at night, so they rode all over.  I was screaming with excitement while clinging to the driver with all my might.

I mentioned in a post recently our adventure with the herd of reindeer:

“You Cannot See Because Of The Ice On The Window”

That holiday was amazing.  Our friends gave us the time of our lives.  It was a complete adventure to all of us, especially because all we did was book our flights and arrive, our friend Jan arranged everything for us, all our accommodation, the hospitality we received from his friends and all of the amazing adventures.

2. Do you love summers or winter?

Summer. I love summer!

 

I am counting the days!

3. Which is your favourite blog post? Please share a link.

I was looking back at some of the posts that I had written about Goldfinch last week. I found one that described the most wonderful day I had with Goldfinch. He took me to a beautiful location. The whole day was very very beautiful:

I think I wrote it after we spent time together during the May Bank Holiday weekend. I need to check my diary. But it was still spring, yet gloriously warm like summer. He held me close for so long. It was one of the most perfect days of my life – so utterly happy.

Dr. Tanya’s Questions

1. What is your family’s favourite winter activity?

Often we have found fantastic deals for hotels, cottages or chalets up in the Lake District in January.

Because a lot of us work during the bank holidays at the end of December, we often have then had a break in January up in the Lakes and have been able to walk – burning off all the calories from having too much chocolate and sherry during the holidays.

One thing I love about the Lakes is that no matter the weather, you are always greeted by very beautiful scenery.

2. How do you plan to fit blogging in with your holiday festivities?

I have been very organized! I have already scheduled a post for every day right up to the end of the year! I won’t have any device I can use the internet for when I am in North Wales, so I have planned ahead. Who’s a clever girl then? From today…I am going to be ridiculously busy right up until the 10th of January! Aaaaagh!

I am going to fall way behind with reading…so I am wondering if other bloggers will forgive me for reading their posts so late. I am going to try my best to catch up with reading what I miss while I am away, but I can’t make any promises I don’t know if I can keep.

3. Have you started thinking of changes that you want to make in your life in 2019?

I don’t plan to make any particular changes. But changes may be forced upon me!

I am starting a new year without Goldfinch. I am not making any plans to replace him. But Goldfinch and I have talked about this, at some point I know he wants me to be open-minded to the fact there are other lovely men out there. He even said that to me at the airport when we were saying goodbye.

It will be weird because I don’t have the desire to be close to any other man, but Goldfinch wants me to make the most of my life. At some point the day will come when I agree to go for a drink with someone. It will be so strange. But it is a hurdle I am going to have to jump over eventually. It is a very lovely thing to have a companion who makes your heart flutter and brightens your days. I know I am happier with a man in my life. But not just any man. Someone who makes me happy to be around them and someone I respect and feel safe with. I am not in any rush…it might be 2020, 2021…or after that before such a man comes along. We will see.

I don’t worry about reaching specific goals since my head injuries…staying alive and making the most of each day is my priority!

My Questions:

  1. Was there a special day in your life that you remember very fondly?

  2. Do you have a favourite tipple?

  3. Do you keep a diary? Either a diary with all your appointments and dates to remember, or a diary which you note your thoughts or descriptions of how each day has been?

I am tagging:

It Was Not My Eyes Leaking This Time

My mad moment of the week, which somehow I forgot to mention before now.

I was at work last week – either Thursday or Friday – it must have been Friday. It was probably some time around four o’clock in the afternoon because I had done all the work there was to do and I was waiting for clients to call in.

I heard a strange creaking noise above me. It seemed to be the ceiling. It is quite a high ceiling. The building is old…I don’t know how old, I am guessing Victorian. We occupy the ground floor and the enormous basement below – which I think would make an amazing night club. Not that I would want to work in a night club – not my scene – been there, done that. One of my uncles owned a night club out in Tenerife or Ibiza –  can’t remember which, I will ask my Dadda when I see him next week. I think it was Tenerife.

Anyway…back to work…

….so it started with the ceiling creaking, and then a while later I heard a soft thud several times in a row.

It was water, drips were landing on my scarf which I had draped over a chair. I looked up and realized water was drip drip dripping from the ceiling and it was coming through one of the light fittings.

I immediately called my manager and then the owner of the company. My manager advised me which business operated above us. I had to lock up our entrance and wander along to their reception area which is further down the road (it is a very big building that houses several businesses).

I walked into the reception of this other business which is on the ground floor, below a stairwell that leads up to the rooms and offices above. I told them where I worked and explained that water was coming through our ceiling and that they were above us.

The female receptionist looked startled. The male receptionist looked alarmed and bolted up the stairs. I told the female receptionist that I was going to head back to our premises and asked if someone could come and see for themselves what was happening in our office.

About fifteen minutes later, the male receptionist came to see what was happening. He said that so far they had not been able to identify the source of the water but they were going to ask their handyman to get on the case. He looked up at the water dripping from our ceiling. I asked him if it was dangerous.

He said: “No, I am pretty sure the ceiling won’t cave in.”

To which I gave him a “not impressed” look, and said said that it was actually the water coming through an electric fitting situation that I was concerned about.

Well, he went back to his business. I asked if they could keep me updated as I needed to report back to my manager, and said if I had not heard them before we closed, I would come back to see them when I locked up our premises. I decided to move anything important out of the office and into another room we use which had some storage space free.

Nobody came back. I emptied the bucket and placed it back under the dripping water. One of the men who work for the company I am employed by said he was going to be nipping in later that evening and I had asked him to check on the dripping water and make sure the bucket didn’t overflow.

I went back to the reception of the business that occupy most of the floor above us. Nobody was at reception but there was a bell to ring. I rang it and waited for a couple of minutes before ringing the bell again. A man appeared at the top of the stairs and told me to take a seat and that someone would come as soon as they were available. I had places to be, people to see, I quickly retorted, “I can’t wait, I need to go, all I need to know is has the water leak been sorted out?”

Then the male receptionist popped his head round the corner and claimed that it had been sorted out.

I told them that water was still dripping through the ceiling. The gentleman at the top of the stairs said I didn’t need to worry. “It’s historical now.”

I asked him what that meant.

“The water leak is historical. It’s over. We have sorted it out.”

I asked him plainly, “so I can tell my manager that despite the water still dripping through the ceiling, you have sorted it out?”

“Yes” he said confidently.

“Thank you, I will let her know.” I turned around and walked out of their reception area muttering under my breath, “Historical? More like hysterical! Thanks for being so helpful!”

Anyway…the good news is the ceiling has not caved in. But it’s up to management to deal with the whole situation now.

I am too much of a softie to deal with men trying to fob me off with nonsense.

 

 

“You Cannot See Because Of The Ice On The Window”

When I saw the picture prompt above from Teresa aka The Haunted Wordsmith it brought back memories from my time in the North of Sweden.

It was an amazing place. We had the holiday of a life-time all thanks to a special friend of our’s, who surprised us every day with spectacular adventures that we never imagined we would have chance to enjoy. We went sledging with husky dogs, visited frozen waterfalls, we went go-carting on an icy lake, and were given the exhilarating experience of snowmobiles in the middle of the night. Our friends were incredibly generous towards us.

But there was one chap named Nick who made me laugh. All of our Swedish friends said Nick was a funny guy – funny as in strange. He gave us an adventure to remember though.

On our last night in Sweden we had a bit of a party. Nick asked one of the guys (Phil) we had travelled with, if we had done everything we wanted. Two of us girls joined in the conversation and assured him the whole trip had been beyond any of our wildest expectations. However, Phil said he was disappointed that he had not seen reindeer. Nick claimed he knew where to find reindeer. Phil was eager to go with Nick. All of our other Swedish friends advised against it. They thought we were extremely unlikely to come across reindeer, no matter what Nick claimed.

I don’t know how Phil talked me into it, but a short time later, Alison, Phil and I were in the car with Nick. I will never forget how much I kept on laughing, all because Nick kept up this continuous commentary about all the places we were passing, followed by the phrase “but you cannot see because of the ice on the window”. He said that in his very Swedish accent.

“Aaan ze lefft es vury spektakuleer kassel – es leeved en by famors harr dresser…but you cannot see becoz of ze ice aaan se vindows” … or something like that. Sorry to any Swedish readers!

We could not see anything out of the side windows. Nick could see the road ahead thank goodness, but we could not see any of the sites he was describing. We seemed to be driving for a couple of hours. It was getting really late. It was probably about 1am when I suggested we head back because we were going to have to be up and ready to leave our accommodation at 5am to travel to the airport.

That’s when Nick slowed down the car and we all gasped. There was a reindeer in the middle of the road. Nick stopped the car of course. A tremendous wave of excitement rushed through me. Nick told us that the reindeer in the road was a youth, and that if there was one reindeer here, there would be a lot more close by. We waited in silence.

Sure enough, another larger reindeer appeared. Then another and another. They all crossed the road in front of us.

Alison and I were hugging each other with excitement. We could not believe what we were seeing.

Nick then told us to get out of the car. We were unsure. I asked if we would frighten the reindeer. He was confident that we would not so long as we were respectful and didn’t move too quickly.

So Nick led the way, slowly but surely following the reindeer up the hill and into the forest. The snow was deep and we were sinking into it in places. But we kept on climbing back up and following silently. The reindeer did not seem bothered by our presence at all. We were so close. We were close enough to touch them, but none of us wanted to frighten them. Instead, we just walked quietly alongside them.

At one point I gazed around and realized there were probably well over a hundred deer around us. I knew this was a rare opportunity and I was trying to drink in all the detail of the scene in front of my eyes, knowing this was going to be a story I told over and over to friends and family.

The reindeer  were steadily moving further and further up the hill, through the forest. Eventually the trees gave way to a flat clearing. It was only then that we really had a sense of how many reindeer were present.

As well as the tremendous excitement I remember feeling, my other main impression was how much smaller reindeer are than I expected. They were smaller than the deer I have seen over here in England.

I do wish we all had the chance to see animals up close like that, rather than catching a glimpse of them in a zoo or on a television documentary.

Nick was a funny (as in strange) guy perhaps, but we would be forever grateful to him for giving us an adventure we would never forget.

 

 

https://hwdailyprompt.home.blog/2018/12/17/december-17-2018-2/

https://hwdailyprompt.home.blog/2018/12/17/december-17-2018/

 

Merry Monday Moment

Fandango’s Word Of The Day is CARTOON…

…well, I am hoping Pixar animations count as cartoons.

To merry up Monday – I have included two of my favourite cartoon moments. First is Dory speaking various dialects of whale languages.

Then is the ultimate Minions mini-movie “Banana”. If you have never seen it… prepare yourself for a treat! Minions mini-movies are so much fun!

It’s Monday – whatever you do, try to have some fun!

 

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/12/17/fowc-with-fandango-cartoon/

I Borrowed Another Credit Card

I have been the recipient of another wave of generosity this week and so I realize it is incumbent on me to continue the giving craze that Teresa aka The Haunted Wordsmith began. So as well as the latest gift that I have received, I have three more gifts for three other bloggers below.

This week, Rory, the creator of A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! gave me a very thoughtful gift as you can see below:

“With Goldfinch currently not there to make her day a sparkle, l got her these. a Complete set of carefully disguised as decoration baubles, but they are actually a set of ‘Everyday is a Glitter Shower Day!’ Yep, you can programme to explode when you need them the mostest and they will cover you from head to foot in a special glittery pixie dust and they ensure happiness!”

sparkles.jpg

Well, so far so good Rory…I think… although next time I think I ought to wear goggles to protect my eyes in the shower.

_________________

So, as I never go into debt and refuse to have a credit card of my own, I have had to borrow another credit card (don’t tell Fandango!!! – I took it from the clothes he abandoned last time he went skiing) and so, I thought I would carry on with my generous streak.

The first gift today goes to Sandmanjazz, who I have only been following recently (I have not seen that picture by the way), but whom I believe likes a bit of jazz. So I am giving to him his own jazz club:

Then my next gift goes to My Dusty Flip-Flops, who is a fantastic travel blogger. So I have decided to buy the Lady Moura yacht along with it’s helicopter and smaller speedboat (kept within the hull) so that Dusty can set sail to various locations and write up super posts for us all to enjoy:

My last gift is for Jay-lyn Doerksen, the creator of The Wonderful and Wacky World of One Single Mom.

Jay-lyn has been very kind sending me very empathetic messages in recent months. She knows what it is like to have a long-distance relationship and I appreciate all of her lovely comments.

So to Jay-lyn I give a palace that she and her loved one can move into so that they can be together always and not separated by distance:

Well…before Fandango is back from the ski slopes and notices his credit card is missing, I better stop myself there.