The New Milk-man Is Raising Suspicions

I am not naturally the suspicious type. I am very trusting (sometimes a bit gullible) and it takes me a long time to give up seeing all the good in someone. But every now and then I cross paths with someone who I think it might be worth avoiding…because their unusual behaviour is starting to become of more and more concern. The new milk-man is starting to freak me out!

Yesterday, I reported to you the mysterious disappearance of our beloved milk-man. Nobody knows what happened to him. Which is mysterious enough. Normally you hear if someone is planning to retire or vamouch on a world cruise. But the old milk-man never said a word about abandoning us. He was just there being the chirpy chappy he was, faithful with his milk-round and one day…gone!

As I mentioned, we only realized something was very wrong when there had been no milk delivered for two weeks and just a collection of empty milk-bottles outside the front door.

Well, after a telephone call to the milk suppliers, we left a cheque out for the new milk-man to collect, and the customer services advisor said they would “have a word” with him asking him to come and collect the cheque and reinstate milk deliveries. He came and took the cheque alright, but left no milk. So a week later we had to call again, and ask again for milk to be delivered. Eventually milk deliveries were resumed. (I help my land-lady with some house-hold tasks and dealing with companies carrying out work or services on her property.)

Oh the ups and downs we have had with the milk deliveries, ever since the spring when the old milk-man suddenly vanished. I mentioned yesterday, my landlady has a milk caddy with a dial so that the milk-man knows how much milk she needs. My landlady went on holiday and left the dial set to zero. Pints of milk appeared all week. Other times she has left the dial set to one and she finds no milk is delivered. Or she is expecting guests, so she sets the dial to two or three pints and only one pint is delivered, or none at all. Time and time again she has called the milk company to ask what is going on. Time and again the milk company have said they would “have a word” with the milkman.

Well….recently we had another issue with payment. On an absence of milk deliveries for a week, we rang the milk suppliers and were told that payment was due again. My landlady left a cheque for the outstanding amount, the cheque was collected and milk deliveries resumed (though still not as per the amount requested). Then we were sent another bill three weeks later saying that we still owed payment for three months of milk deliveries. After another call to the milk company it turned out the cheque had never made it’s way to the relevant department. So the cheque was cancelled and my landlady made the decision she will not leave cheques any longer for the milk-man to collect. So instead payment was made over the phone with a credit card. The milk company received a full account of all the ups and downs she has had with the new milk-man. The customer services advisor said they would “have a word” with the new milk-man.

The following week my landlady asked for one pint (of her usual semi-skimmed milk) and she found six pints of full-fat milk. I overheard her expressions of complete bewilderment on making the discovery early on Monday morning! The milk-man is pushing her over the edge!

Now I have a theory about this milk-man…I believe he has “issues”. It is very clear to me that he is “at war” with my landlady. I reckon he has one of those personalities that cannot take on board any criticism, So when the milk company have been “having a word” with him about all the mistakes he has made with the milk deliveries, he has become annoyed with the customers complaining. I wonder if hearing about a complaint from a customer has made him throw a tantrum? Leaving six pints of whole milk instead of one pint of semi-skimmed! I am concerned our new milk-man is starting to show psychopathic traits!!! Am I wrong?

Now I am not just saying this because the new milk-man nearly ran me over last week when I was on my way down to work. He came zooming around the corner at break-neck speed as I was in the middle of the road. I turned around and glared at him and noticed his unkempt appearance, but he didn’t look apologetic. He was grimacing and had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. So so different from our lovely chirpy chappy, our old milk-man.

Anyways….I have seen him at other times in what I thought were slightly odd situations. I never have time to linger to find out what he is doing, but I have seen him sitting outside of some of the larger houses in this area taking photos on his phone. I have seen him roving around in his milk-float, with that grimace on his face, and that cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and he looks as if he has a sinister air about him. I have seen him having what look like clandestine meetings with a shady looking character, down a cobble stone alley I use as a short-cut on the way to work. Something was being purchased by the looks of things, but it did not look as if the shady looking character was buying milk.

Ay ay ay karumba! All these strange goings-on. Can you see why I am suspicious of him? And of course…the initial perplexing issue – the mystery of the missing milk-man! Could it be that his disappearing into thin air without a merry word or a cheerful wave goodbye to his fond customers could be all down to the new and possibly nefarious milk-man?

I don’t want to let my imagination gallop away without some more substantial evidence. But I am watching. Oh…I am watching the new milk-man with a close-eye!

Too many strange goings-on by far. He is arousing my suspicions with being parked up in his milk-float outside grand houses and taking photos, by his lurking down alleys and participating in non-dairy transactions, by the missing cheques and the strange and sudden vanishing of our former faithful and friendly milk-man.

But most of all, the wally has totally given away his iniquitous ideas by instigating the wrath of the land-lady! Six pints of whole milk instead of one pint of semi-skimmed! There is no doubt about it – he is a confirmed villain!


27 thoughts on “The New Milk-man Is Raising Suspicions”

    1. I will keep watching him and report any other strange goings-on in the future!

      I read The Famous Five books, The Secret Seven, Mallory Towers, St Claires….but I didn’t read anything about magic things. I was never impressed by magic. I think she wrote some stuff with magic and possibly fairies…I would have rejected that as a kiddo.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Dad would make visit to charity shops when he was on his lunch break from work and he would pick out Enid Blyton books for me and bring them home. I loved that all my books had 5p handwritten on the inside of the front cover.

          As children I am sure we were influenced by them. We used to “spy” on anyone that we didn’t like the look of.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I read whichever book of her I could find and the my kids picked up the habit. Nice clean books. Nowadays, you don’t know what to suggest to the young kids to read. 😊

            Liked by 1 person

            1. The only thing I had a major problem with is that her characters often ate tongue sandwiches. I used to make me feel so sick!!!
              But yes, I am glad in many ways I grew up when I did…I would be very very selective if I was a parent about what is available for children now.

              Liked by 1 person

  1. I loved reading this post and yes, it reminded me of Enid Blyton too. But the mystery series that came to my mind was the Five Find Outers. I think one of those stories has a baker who delivers bread to houses. He steals from the houses he visits and hides the loot in his basket under the loaves of bread.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I just read about the Five Find Outers on Wikipedia and their names instantly rang a bell. I am sure I did read some of their stories. I don’t think I read all of them, because they are not as prominent in my mind as The Famous Five and The Secret Seven etc but I do remember Fatty, Larry, Daisy, Pip, Bets and Buster.


  2. Poor old milkman, and your poor landlady! I guess you’ll have to start taking notes of his antics. Maybe he is acting strange at other houses too!?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First, you still have milkmen who deliver milk to your door? I didn’t think they still existed. They don’t where I live, anyway.

    Second, for some reason, through no action on my part, I apparently stopped following your blog. As I checked on this, I discovered that a handful of other blogs I had been following were no longer being followed. I am now, once again following your blog. But it’s a mystery to me why this happened. It’s a very milkman-like saga.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There are less and less milk-men around. But yes in this area many really like seeing the milk-man on his milk float and deliberately choose to support him by having their milk delivered.

      I am worried this new milk-man is going to annoy his customers. My land-lady is fuming with him. I am convinced there is something dubious going on….perhaps he did not bump off the old milk-man…but he is up to something!

      I have totally lost track of who I follow…I think I am always hungry when I am reading because I seem to follow a huge amount of foodie blogs. About 75% of what appears in my WP Reader is recipes! But I always make sure I check out bloggers who provide writing prompts….I have found it hard to keep up with everyone recently….and I must admit I avoided all the horror stories around because I am a big softie and don’t want to be traumatised.

      Thank you for your message 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I never thought I’d become this interested in milk, especially since I have developed a mild intolerance towards it 😉 better to ignore it and yet… now you have me not ignoring it at all!

    Is this a real life scenario with which you have taken some creative liberties or all of it fiendishly concocted by a creative mind? Don’t answer that on a postcard… my maildeliveryperson delivers my mail to my neighbour (and vice versa) when a in a bit of a mood (luckily neighbour and I like each other and not just passive-aggressively on social media).

    I haven’t read Enid (yes, yes, I know, I must read this author and that… which is partly why I haven’t), so you won’t get comparisons from me. But if I did enter into that annoying comparison zone… League of Gentlemen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂

      Our milk-man malarky is a very real situation.

      I too have some kind of intolerane to milk. If someone opens a fresh bottle in front of me and puts a tiny drop in a cup of tea, I am fine, but anything more than that and anything not super fresh and I suffer the consequences!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. The milkmen were definitely thriving in the eighties weren’t they….but then gradually they started to disappear. In our town they built an Aldi and then a 24-hour ASDA….people started bulk shopping and buying their own milk.

      I am keeping a close-eye on our new milk-man – he doesn’t seem right does he?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Um is that a TRUE story? If so, why don’t you or your landlady telephone the delivery service and tell them to stick their milk in an unaccustomed orifice and that you’ll buy your own in future? If I saw such a character hanging around taking pictures of the houses or buying drugs or something in an alley, the police would be informed. You might have to move though, if he’s as unstable as he sounds. I BET that milk company is losing business because of the guy and maybe soon he too will just vanish. You can hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think my land-lady should give up on him. She does like to support local businesses and keep the traditional feel to the village (which is hard with the London area) but I think she is going to have to give up on this milk-man.
      I am keeping a close eye on the milkman, but I don’t have any evidence yet…just my observations and suspicious mind (which have all been triggered by his carelessness with the milk delieveries)…I am going to keep my eye out for him though!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You are right to keep your eye on him, this could be a whole scam. I too am wondering what happened to the other happy milk man, did he pay the ultimate price for his prime job in a good area? Non-dairy sales in alley ways sounding off alarm bells. Your neighborhood sounds exciting, waiting for the next installment with baited breath.

    Liked by 1 person

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