Don’t Want To Be A Single Girl

When Goldfinch heads back to Australia…I will be officially single again. This is not something I am looking forward to at all. Quite the opposite in fact.

I mean I would love to just be his pen-pal and save my spare cash to visit him in Australia and hope he can visit England. But, I am sure he does not have the same appetite for writing as I do and he does not want to ask me to be lonesome for the rest of my days without him. I am sure that he will have no difficulty finding a wonderful lady in Australia, because Goldfinch is a very wonderful man.

Thus, although I can always count on Goldfinch being a special part of my life, the 10,100 miles between us will mean I am single. Technically that begins the moment he gets on a plane at Heathrow Airport and leaves me far behind. That will be an achey breaky heart moment…walking out of Terminal 2 without him.

But I will not be ready to be single at that point. I feel as if I should be able to present a doctor’s note or some evidence to make it clear that just because Goldfinch has gone, I am not ready to replace him in a hurry. I have a male friend who seems soft on me and who keeps asking when Goldfinch is going. Well, frankly I kind of resent that he wants Goldfinch out of the way. It is not going to happen between he and I!

I don’t particularly like being single. It’s not just the lonesomeness I don’t like. It’s traversing the world of single men. It’s so great when you can tell someone you are not available. It makes life easier by far.

Singleness is awkward. Everyone wants to introduce you to someone or set you up on a date. It’s a nuisance. The embarrassment of meeting men and it all being wrong…oh so wrong…and wondering why on earth your friends thought you would get on with this man. It’s painfully awkward for me because I don’t like the thought of hurting anyone…so sometimes I can’t be straightforward with someone that I think their language/attitude/manners are repugnant. Some men have thought things were going well because I am so polite and gracious, so they don’t have any idea that in my head I am counting the moments until I can escape.

Although every now and then I do meet someone I think is lovely…only to find out that they don’t find me their cup of tea. Or…maybe the timing is just really bad. Or there may be endless complications and challenges – a subject I intend to address in another post at a later date.

I have to admit…I am really not looking forward to being single again. It’s so easy when you feel you belong to one man who you love, admire, respect, feel proud of. Being single…oh dear…I am dreading it for so many reasons.

Sing-Along With Mr Tall

You might have picked up on my fondness for singing if you have seen some of my other posts. For a long time I have been intending to tell you all about one of the biggest musical influences on my life, and now I am finally introducing you to a man I adored.

Mr Tall was our Headmaster at the primary school I attended. I mentioned him in another post this week (he gave me permission to borrow the book “Heidi” during the school holidays). Well Mr Tall was most loved for two things…one was his huge ball of blue-tac which he always had in his hands. It was the greatest honour if he trusted you with it when he needed his hands free for a task. The other thing he was known for was his guitar.

Our beloved Headmaster loved playing the guitar. Every Friday afternoon the whole school would gather and Mr Tall would play the guitar to songs that we came to know by heart and we would sing the lyrics at the top of our voices!

One of my favourites was a song called “Denny O’Rafferty’s Motor Car”. I have known this song by heart sing I was around five years old. I loved it! Every now and then I surprise a friend by singing the entire song (there are more verses than I have included below):

Now Denny O’Rafferty’s motor car is the greatest I declare
It’s made up of bits and pieces that he’s picked up here and there
The engine must be ages old, but it’s still got lots of power
With a gallon of stout in the petrol tank it does ninety miles an hour

[CHORUS}: What a wonderful motor car, it’s the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father’s hat, now it’s forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O’Rafferty’s motor car

Now two of the wheels are triangular and the third one’s off a pram
The fourth is the last remaining wheel from off a Dublin tram
The number plate’s in Gaelic and the plug’s won’t even spark
And the chassis came off a tinker’s cart that collapsed in Phoenix Park

Now go for a ride in that motor car and you’ll end up with the shakes
The road from Cork to Dublin is a vale of pains and aches
When traffic lights turn red ahead, then you’d best jump out the door
For the moment that Denny treads on the break, then his foot goes through the floor

I remember almost all the songs we sang each week with Mr Tall. Years after I left primary school I often found myself singing them regularly. If you wanted to pop round to the little nest one evening, I could entertain you for a couple of hours with renditions of my childhood songs that Mr Tall taught us. Only I don’t play the guitar. I had a few lessons as a teenager, but I was juggling too many hobbies and couldn’t concentrate (big regret, as I would love to play the guitar…but there is still time).

Now I am a huge karaoke fan. You might not be so keen yourself, but I think it is super fun and really good for you emotionally and mentally – there is something about pushing yourself to overcome your fears, anxieties, nerves and giving it your all. It is not about the quality of your voice. It is about giving it some gusto and enjoying yourself. But I know some who would rather be pulled through a hedge backwards than made to sing solo in front of an audience.

I was working at a medical center for almost two years. We were trained to signpost patients to a whole host of other medical service providers and also avenues in which people could connect with their local community and do something good for their social, emotional and mental health. One of the booklets we gave out to customers was about a local singing group. People from various backgrounds and age-groups were meeting three nights a week for a good old sing song.

I was sooooooooo tempted to tag along myself only I was working every evening the singing group met. My only worry is that I am such a karaoke queen the rest of the singers might have been a bit fed up with me.

Well…on this note (boom boom) I wanted to mention “SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY”, which many of you may already know about and take part in. It is a great fun blogging challenge hosted by Helen Vahdati, the creator of This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. Have a little look at her post from last Sunday and the incredibly long list of bloggers who are taking part in sharing a musical moment with each other. It’s the closest thing to a choir us bloggers are ever going to form I feel:

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Will be looking out for you next Sunday!