I don’t know if you think I am daft….or annoying…sending you messages….but I still don’t know for certain if you are alive and well or if I have lost my dear friend and have no idea why.
I write lovely things in a journal for you each evening….in hopes one day, it may be in your hands.
I read an article yesterday on the tube about appreciation. It was for married couples really but it made me think of where perhaps I have gone wrong with you. It had a quote from a marriage counsellor who said that most of the couples who see him talk about what is not happening in their marriage rather than what is. They are all focused on what needs to change rather than what they want to stay the same. They lack appreciation for their mates positive traits and habits and all that they love about their mate for all they are and all they are doing.
So I was thinking….I hope I have told you what I love and appreciate about you. But perhaps I have not shown enough appreciation for the type of relationship we have had. I have maybe harped on too many times about what was not happening in our relationship, and kept on talking about how I wanted things to develop and progress and change. I am sorry if I gave the impression I was dissatisfied.
Truly sorry… you have sent me so many beautiful romantic messages that gave me hope of something beyond a whirlwind of love letters, but now I am wondering if the transition to reality is just never going to happen.
However, please let me state now how much I have loved what we have been enjoying. The thought of having lost the relationship we had leaves me utterly heartbroken. Maybe that is due to me putting unfair pressure on you to move things forward….even though I know you are already juggling many important responsibilities.
If you are alive and well….just reluctant to maintain the frequency of contact we had and feeling that you are unable to guarantee you would have the time and energy to meet up in the future….well that is something I would only respect you for deciding.
However….I would love to think my messages could bring you some amusement and comfort and encouragement and enjoyment.
I am sorry if I have caused you to draw away… I wish I knew what to apologise for specifically and whether it was something I could improve on.
If you have another girlie… then again… I would only respect you for not messaging me at the same time.
If you have been abducted by aliens… I am not sure I will ever know.
If you are grieving due to a serious family tragedy….I wish I could be of some use or support to you….and would want to send you HUGE hug. I hope my messages are not badly timed.
I am truly distressed that I do not know what has happened to you.
Thank you for a year of romance and joy.
All my sweetest love you…xx